The true story of how Rome fell, by Micella

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Micella
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The true story of how Rome fell, by Micella

Post by Micella » Thu Sep 10, 2015 10:44 pm

The way I see it, and obviously I could be completely wrong, but, from what I’ve been able to gather, here’s what happened:

Once upon a time, Dustin built this cool house and furnished it all nice and stuff. He invited a shit ton of people to pay a cover and come play in his house. (those people would be all of us) And they came. And they played, and they for the most part, slept over and raided the fridge and stuff. It was a little challenging for dustin to keep an eye on all of us, so he pulled a few of us aside and asked them to help keep an eye on the place. (those would be the mods). The mods were all, “hell yeah! We’ll watch your stuff for you, buddy, this place rocks!” And they did. They hung out, played with us, and did their best to keep us from jumping on the furniture. More of us came. And for a minute, kept coming. Dustin was all, “score! My house rocks ….. look at all these people playing and having a good time. Hope no one trashes my furniture. My mod buddies will let me know if they do ….. I’m going to Burning Man!”

And we played, and we played, and some of us started jumping on the furniture and the mods started grounding us and stuff. Then more people started coming over and jumping on the furniture, and the mods started kicking some of us out and stuff. Then we started noticing that cracks were forming on the ceiling. So we started being all, “hey mods, did you see that crack?” And the mods were all, “what? What crack? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD would you stop jumping on the furniture over there.” And they’d run off to chastise whoever was jumping on the couch. Then the cracks started getting a little bigger, and more of us were all, “HEY MODS, THERE ARE CRACKS IN THE CEILING!!!!” So then the mods were all, “Oh, yeah, I see that. Hmmmm, well, we don’t have a ladder in here, so we can’t do anything about it, but we will let dustin know.”

And we played, and we played, and we jumped on the furniture and we played. And every now and again, we’d be all, “Hey mods, how bout them cracks?” and the mods would be all, “yes, we KNOW, we are waiting on dustin to bring a ladder … we have no idea what’s taking him so long to get here.” So we were all, “okay, then …. But them cracks don’t look good.”

Then one day, para was all, “I bet I could fix that crack.” And we were all, “cool, do it.” So para got creative and mixed up some temporary plaster and found a way to shimmy up the wall to get to the cracks. He patched them up then screened in the front porch so we would all have some more room to play. Cool.

Except almost everyday someone, somewhere in the house noticed a crack. Well, everyone got sort of used to para patching the cracks, so we all just pointed them out and waited for para to find a way to patch them, while the mods tried to keep the heathens from jumping on the furniture. Sometimes we’d be all, “hey mods, why don’t you just move the furniture so the heathens can’t jump on it.” And they’d be like, “Oh … duh …. Why didn’t we think of that??!?!?!?!? WE CANT MOVE THE FURNITURE, IT’S DUSTIN’S FURNITURE AND HE HASN’T TOLD US WHERE TO MOVE IT TO!!!” So then we were just all, “gawwwwdddd, sorry! Just thought we’d ask …..” and then we’d go back to playing and trying to ignore all the furniture jumping.

But little by little the cracks got bigger and plaster started to flake off. A lot of us were all, “gross, I’m not playing in this run down house with all these freaks jumping on the furniture and stuff” and so a lot of us left to go find another house to play in. Some of us stayed around though, and even though it got harder and harder for para to keep the cracks patched, he still tried. While most of us sat around saying things like, “hey, para, you missed a spot.” Or “hey, para, there’s another one over there …. Daayyyummm that’s a big one!” and then some of us started being all, “hey, para, I bet you could patch that thing better with some plumber’s putty.” And para was all, “don’t be an idiot, you idiot, you can’t patch drywall with plumber’s putty.” And then there would be a huge debate (while jumping on the furniture) over whether or not you could use plumber’s putty to patch drywall. (good times).

Anywho ……. One day para got sick of patching cracks by shimmying up the wall using some jank ass plaster, so he started slacking on the crack patching. (y’all say that last part out loud … it’s sort of funny) Then some “genius” was all, “hey para, what you really need around here is a ladder ….” And para flipped his shit. He was all “NO FUCKING SHIT, SHERLOCK! You think I don’t know we need a ladder!?!? Of course we need a fucking ladder you n00b! But here’s the problem, Einstein, DUSTIN HAS THE LADDER LOCKED IN THE GARAGE!!!! So, I don’t have a fucking ladder, now do I?”

People started talking about ladders and why wouldn’t dustin just give para a ladder, and some people were all, why doesn’t para just go get his own ladder, and some people were all, “I don’t know why para worries about the cracks anyway, it’s not like it’s his house or anything.” Then we all debated on whether or not the cracks were all that big anyway, or if para was just crack happy, or if the cracks would fix themselves, some people even speculated that para created the cracks with the power of his negativity and sarcasm! Some people wondered if dustin even knew about the cracks. Did dustin know about the cracks and not care about the cracks?!?!?! Was dustin just going to let the ceiling cave in on everybody?!?!?!? AAaaaacckkkk. More people started leaving to find a better house.

Then one day, dustin came home, and the people that still played in his house bum rushed him and everyone started talking at once about the cracks, and about para and his spackle (that’s a fun word!), and how everyone was going home and that they wanted everyone to stay and play with them, and that para was mean and made cracks that he spackled and how the mods were all in the kitchen getting drunk and letting people jump on the furniture and stuff …. And so finally dustin pulled para aside, and said something like, “Hey dude, why didn’t you tell me you needed a ladder …..” and para was all, “are you kidding me right now? It’s YOUR fucking house, you should KNOW it was going to need a ladder eventually ….” And dustin was all, “okay, okay ….. chill out, dude, I’ll go get the ladder out of the garage right now and you can borrow it.” And para was all, “Pfft! Do you think I’m a fool?!?! I’m not trying to borrow your stupid ladder. I’ve been running around this place, patching your cracks for years now so your damn house wouldn’t fall down. I wouldn’t touch your ladder with Drifter’s hands at this point.” So dustin was all, “okay, I’ll tell you what ….. I’ll start paying you a little something something to keep the cracks patched around here, and I’ll give you the key to the garage so you can go get that ladder whenever you want. I think I even have one of those cool little triangle spackler tools in there. Wont that be good?” And para looked around at the people left playing and jumping on the furniture, and his ice cold heart melted a little and he couldn’t bear to let the ceiling fall on us, so he was all, “yeah, whatever, I guess so.”

So everyone in the house rejoiced! FINALLY THE CRACKS WERE GOING TO BE FIXED FOR GOOD!!!!!!! HOORAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!

So para set about with the ladder and the spackler thingy and went to work fixin’ some cracks. While the rest of us critiqued his work and chatted amongst ourselves as to whether or not his spackling technique was good enough, and how great it must be for him to be making a MILLION TRILLION DOLLARS for spackling up a few cracks that he liked spackling anyways., Some of us even debated on whether or not para’s ass would look good in carpenter pants. (you know some of y’all did).

Now that para had a ladder, he could get up close and personal with his spackled cracks. He started looking at all of them …. Moving that ladder here and there …. Checking them out and came to the conclusion that a) damn! He had spackled a lot of cracks around this place, and b) he didn’t really feel like spackling anymore. What he really wanted was to throw up some new drywall. But he’d be damned if he was gonna do THAT for free. Sooooooooooooo, he started trying to convince dustin to let him in the attic to replace the drywall.
Dustin: You’re not getting in the attic, para
para: I need in the attic, dustin
Dusin: You’re not getting in the attic, para. Just patch the cracks like you said you would
para: I don’t want to patch the cracks anymore, dustin, you need new drywall, patching the cracks isn’t going to keep the ceiling from collapsing
Dustin: it’s my ceiling, para, just patch the cracks
para: oh, so it’s YOUR ceiling, is it? Well, where were you when your ceiling was cracking with all these idiots in here playing and jumping on the furniture? No where, that’s where. It was ME who climbed over the stupid heathens to patch the fucking cracks, dustin. ME.
Dustin: yeah, about that …. Thanks, buddy, but it’s still my ceiling. I told you I would pay you to patch the cracks. I even gave you a ladder. Can you just get on with it already?
para: No, dustin, I don’t think I can. I’ve reached the point now, where I KNOW that patching the cracks isn’t going to keep people from having plaster in their hair while trying to PAY YOU to play in this house ….. so, no. stop being a dick and just let me in the attic.
Dustin: para, you are pissing me off now. If you aren’t even patching the cracks, why should I let you in the attic.
para: I’ve BEEN patching the cracks, you moron, that’s the only reason you even still have a fucking ceiling!!!!!
Dustin: well now you’re just being difficult. Give me my ladder back. And why are these fools jumping on my furniture? What the hell have my mods been doing?

Meanwhile everyone else is all, “heyyyyyy, why is the plaster still falling on my face?!?!?!?!??! I thought dustin was paying para to patch the cracks now …. WTF?!?!?!?! “ And para responds with, “shut up, I’m drinking my scotch” and dustin responds with, “shut up, I’m looking at my cool house wondering if it’s time to refinance”
And we are all …….. “UGHHHHHHH, CAN WE PLEASE JUST GET BACK TO RUNNING AMOK IN THE HOUSE, WITHOUT HAVING TO WORRY ABOUT THE STUPID CEILING FALLING, PLEASE ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!”

And that’s the true story of how Rome fell.

So, I really really really wish para and dustin would come to a compromise on which cracks need to be patched and when the attic door would be opened. Then we could all just play Rome and talk mess to each other and live happily ever after.

THE END

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Re: The true story of how Rome fell, by Micella

Post by Naraku » Thu Sep 10, 2015 10:54 pm

:lol:

you forgot to mention the part where I drove the MotW semi truck up & down the stairs of the house tho Micella! :lincoln:

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Re: The true story of how Rome fell, by Micella

Post by Rhye » Thu Sep 10, 2015 10:58 pm

The most spectacular piece of allegory since the Divine Comedy.

:smt033

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Re: The true story of how Rome fell, by Micella

Post by Lantern » Thu Sep 10, 2015 11:03 pm

Instant HOF post!

I don't think I will ever be able to play lux again without thinking about jack ass spackle.

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Re: The true story of how Rome fell, by Micella

Post by newbeslaya » Thu Sep 10, 2015 11:57 pm

∞ newbeslaya slow claps ∞

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Re: The true story of how Rome fell, by Micella

Post by camaro » Fri Sep 11, 2015 12:09 am

cant wait for paras reply... should be good

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Re: The true story of how Rome fell, by Micella

Post by Llama LluxaLlot » Fri Sep 11, 2015 1:19 am

Seriously missed you Micella. That was a story among stories. I love stories. You always brought energy and creativity here. sniff. :llama :smt058

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Re: The true story of how Rome fell, by Micella

Post by C-Rex » Fri Sep 11, 2015 2:00 am

And it's funny because it's true. Very well written. Reminds me of an episode of Breaking Bad when all people crashed the young guy's house for a party even if they didn't pay anything.

Gotta <3 that girl!

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Re: The true story of how Rome fell, by Micella

Post by RogueMonk » Fri Sep 11, 2015 7:39 am

Pure genius.

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Re: The true story of how Rome fell, by Micella

Post by Schroberts » Fri Sep 11, 2015 11:27 am

:smt023 :smt023 :smt023

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Re: The true story of how Rome fell, by Micella

Post by Deep Blue » Fri Sep 11, 2015 12:03 pm

I don't want to kill your buzz but.... It could use some nudity. And a murder. Yes a murder is always great! And what is with the attic? What is dustin hiding there? Some skeletons maybe? Something that happend in the past? Something terrible. Something terrible disturbing. Something big. Or do we rather want to keep it small? Something daily. Life as it is. Life as it should be.
Nudity. Defnetely nudity. Also. The title. What had all this have to do with Rome? Serious questions, no insults or how do you say that in english.



Good job michella. Im intreged. ;-)

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Re: The true story of how Rome fell, by Micella

Post by Llama LluxaLlot » Fri Sep 11, 2015 12:44 pm

Well...deep blue is right about the attic. Something horrible SHOULD be in the attic. Maybe Drifter's old 70's porn chest. :hmm:

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Re: The true story of how Rome fell, by Micella

Post by paranoiarodeo » Fri Sep 11, 2015 12:46 pm

(Brother Drifter would most certainly never trust dustin with anything important for safekeeping.)

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Re: The true story of how Rome fell, by Micella

Post by Dangerous Beans » Fri Sep 11, 2015 3:59 pm

∞ Dangerous Beans continues to sporadically cut down trees in Dustin's yard and use them for his giant catapult. ∞

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Re: The true story of how Rome fell, by Micella

Post by Micella » Fri Sep 11, 2015 8:06 pm

Llux Llama wrote:Seriously missed you Micella. That was a story among stories. I love stories. You always brought energy and creativity here. sniff. :llama :smt058

Missed you too, you llitle llama you!

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Re: The true story of how Rome fell, by Micella

Post by Lupus ferox » Sun Sep 13, 2015 5:57 am

Micella! Missed you...

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Re: The true story of how Rome fell, by Micella

Post by plane crazy » Mon Sep 14, 2015 3:10 pm

Wow. /me takes a gander at the ceiling.....

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Re: The true story of how Rome fell, by Micella

Post by paranoiarodeo » Mon Sep 14, 2015 10:22 pm

∞ paranoiarodeo wonders why dustin hasn't replied here yet ∞

(Leave it to Micella to pen a perfect allegory despite being gone these last couple of years.)

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Re: The true story of how Rome fell, by Micella

Post by RogueMonk » Tue Sep 15, 2015 7:55 am

paranoiarodeo wrote:∞ paranoiarodeo wonders why dustin hasn't replied here yet ∞
He is busy trying to figure out how to work the ladder.

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Re: The true story of how Rome fell, by Micella

Post by Micella » Tue Sep 15, 2015 8:28 pm

RogueMonk wrote:
paranoiarodeo wrote:∞ paranoiarodeo wonders why dustin hasn't replied here yet ∞
He is busy trying to figure out how to work the ladder.
Lol, Monk Monk … maybe he screwed up and walked under it, and now he is busy throwing a pile of salt over his shoulder?
And to address rumors that have been going on around here, I would like the record to reflect that I truly have been gone for over two years, and really longer than that as I only popped in for a brief minute back in 2013. And, I would also like to clarify that I have not had any more contact with para over this time than I have with any of the rest of you. My current avatar, for those of you who weren’t around or don’t remember, was created as a “funny”. It’s no secret that para and I have had very public …uhmmmm….disagreements? around this place, the subjects of which have included everything from raw manipulation to Classic elitism, to chatbox bullying and general inappropriateness. One such “disagreement” resulted in ME being forum banned for a time. I know …. I know …. I couldn’t believe it either …. So the avatar was me being silly upon my return to the forums.

That being said, it sort of leads to the primary reason for this post. I’ve been asked, more than once, why, if I truly have been gone and don’t really know what’s been going on the last year or so, why then, do I seem to “know” things, and why, then, am I “backing” para. Well, the answer is pretty simple, for one, I am not a moron and used my crazy woman power of reasoning to deduce the general gist of it all and for two, based on my own experiences with both para and dustin, I formed an opinion. I’ve already said that I certainly agree with the fact that para can be a smug, condescending jackass, at times (in fact, I believe I’ve called him exactly that before in these very forums), but personality traits aside, he was always willing to have a conversation with anyone about this game that he so loves. He’s always provided rooms tailored made for whatever purpose the masses asked for. He’s invested a lot of his time and energy into this game and the people who play it. He has taken over hosting specialty tournaments when others bailed unexpectedly and continued to host and manage them when there was no one else to do so. He’s offered suggestions and opinions repeatedly over the years to improve the game and the online experience for those who play it. He doesn’t always conduct himself in a matter that goes down as easy as … say the scotch he sips, but he is para. And that is a part of the para experience. So, in my “judgments” of his side of this scenario, I factor in everything I’ve ever heard about him from the oldtimers that were still around in my day, the respect he has gained as a player and a Lux specialist from this community, my personal communications with him, and my belief that he is, fundamentally, a good man, with good intentions.

Back in my day of regular participation in this game and its community, I was friendly enough with enough of dusin’s mods to form the opinion that dustin wasn’t exactly “present” or too terribly helpful when he was. My personal, direct communications with him left me saying to myself, “WTF? Does this guy have a clue what goes on around here? I mean, geez, could he at least READ some shit before he says some crap that doesn’t even apply?” To me, dustin very much appears to “listen” to a select few (the members of said “few” subject to change on a whim), and pops in long enough to have a knee-jerk reaction without bothering to do his own research into the matter at hand (whatever that may be). I could go into a whole “thing” about how I staff my departments at work with people very carefully so that I have the freedom to flit about and do what I want, but that I am always accessible to provide direction, additional resources, or to execute action items that they do not have the skillset and/or authority to perform. But I wont. So my “judgments” of dustin’s side of this scenario are based on the above with the new addition of his forum posts that are, in my opinion, non-constructive, non-informative, and quite frankly, immature.

And so, in conclusion, that is why, lacking any other real information from either side to go on, I am, and will continue to be until something or someone comes along to change my mind …. TEAM PARA.

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Re: The true story of how Rome fell, by Micella

Post by Big Will E Style » Tue Sep 15, 2015 11:19 pm

PBB

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Re: The true story of how Rome fell, by Micella

Post by Micella » Tue Sep 15, 2015 11:28 pm

Big Will E Style wrote:PBB

Brat.

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Re: The true story of how Rome fell, by Micella

Post by Naraku » Wed Sep 16, 2015 2:31 pm

And so, in conclusion, that is why, lacking any other real information from either side to go on, I am, and will continue to be until something or someone comes along to change my mind …. TEAM PARA.
The thing that use to make lux great was the sense of community that the forums and tournaments created among luxers from all across the globe. Imho dustin hasn't done himself any favors by being absent for so long and not communicating more clearly his ideas, goals and plans to his TEAM of moderators; in the same vein, Imho perhaps para could've done more to solve the conflicts and dramas instead of feeding the flames or starting the fires? How many survivorfest tournaments have happened in the past 4 years? 1 maybe 1.5? or was it 0??!?!? Team tournament weekends(*during luxtoberfest)?

For the record I'm also not team dustin or team para, I'm team Luxtopia!

Instead of dividing everyone further or salting wounds perhaps there could be a 13th hour negotiation where both sides let go of hurt feelings & calmly, civilly and rationally discuss what would be best for the online game? What has happened in the past 3 years has happened, there is no going back or fixing any of it. We all need to get over it, or make some funny jokes about it, and move on towards a future with more fun color collusions, evil clowns bent on mastery of the universe, prophets of pickle's and Lincoln's return to the land of the living, not to mention the new warlike breed of lady Llama's preparing to run amok next month!

Before you disappear for the foreseeable future just 2 questions para, what are the plans with the castle tournament? will you give the reigns to a new host or will Snyperpie return to continue the tradition?

Oh yea and everyone better beware this luxtoberfest when team Qcella steals all your gold bling bling!
:party

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Re: The true story of how Rome fell, by Micella

Post by The Silken Knot » Wed Sep 16, 2015 2:45 pm

Not quite sure what that has to do with MIcella's post, Naraku.

But, since you brought up what hasn't occurred in the past three years, maybe it's time to also bring up that the fact that the past four Luxtoberfests even happened was due to paranoiarodeo, and paranoiarodeo alone. Ditto Castles tournaments. Which, as far as I can see, is a heck of a lot more than anyone else has done around here.

You are entitled to your opinions. You are not entitled to rewrite history to suit your own agenda. And when you do, you deserve to be called on it.

:smt077

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Re: The true story of how Rome fell, by Micella

Post by Llama LluxaLlot » Wed Sep 16, 2015 2:54 pm

Right on. :llama

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Re: The true story of how Rome fell, by Micella

Post by Red Beard » Wed Sep 16, 2015 7:12 pm

I honestly can't see a real point in pressing any of these points or contesting them. How arguing about any of this is going to do much good for anyone or anything around here anymore? At this point and probably in the past too, more things are going to be broken than put right.

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Re: The true story of how Rome fell, by Micella

Post by Llama LluxaLlot » Wed Sep 16, 2015 7:19 pm

right on!

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Re: The true story of how Rome fell, by Micella

Post by StoneWorld » Sun Sep 27, 2015 4:57 am

Geez.

First of all, I went this year, and Burning Man is dead.

Second of all, wow.

Third, Para, I want my rooms back that were your rooms, cause they were my favorite, and now I'm sad.

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Re: The true story of how Rome fell, by Micella

Post by sasquatch » Wed Sep 30, 2015 2:44 pm

Image
:beers

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Re: The true story of how Rome fell, by Micella

Post by Naraku » Mon Mar 21, 2016 2:54 pm

The Silken Knot wrote:Not quite sure what that has to do with MIcella's post, Naraku.

But, since you brought up what hasn't occurred in the past three years, maybe it's time to also bring up that the fact that the past four Luxtoberfests even happened was due to paranoiarodeo, and paranoiarodeo alone. Ditto Castles tournaments. Which, as far as I can see, is a heck of a lot more than anyone else has done around here.

You are entitled to your opinions. You are not entitled to rewrite history to suit your own agenda. And when you do, you deserve to be called on it.

:smt077
I am not revising or rewriting any history(yet; though now that you mention it looks like the wiki history is ripe for an update or five.) Para's own deeds and words speak for themselves. Para did take on a lot in lux, but he pretty much forced it on himself and everyone else. para could be a very smart and talented person of this there is no doubt and last years castle's tournament(castle's IX) and most of the luxtoberfests, hosts he ran were ok, yet that doesn't give him the right or free pass to piss on or suck the fun out of anything he doesn't agree with. As far as what it had to do with Micella's post, I was pointing out that instead of picking camps or sides that players would be better served picking team LUXTOPIA!!! :smt109 :scooter :globe :ham

p.s. I just noticed your reply to my post after I dug the thread out of the woodwork for the QotW post.
Last edited by Naraku on Wed Mar 23, 2016 6:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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