GAME :: Ask Wednesday Addams

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Wednesday Addams
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GAME :: Ask Wednesday Addams

Post by Wednesday Addams » Wed Oct 03, 2012 9:12 am

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Go on, then. Ask me anything.

The airspeed velocity of an unladen European swallow. The best way to deal with unwanted suitors. How to tie a half-hitch. The recipe for Grandmama's Newt Stew...

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Post by n00less cluebie » Wed Oct 03, 2012 9:38 am

Dear Wednesday,

What is your favorite color?

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Post by Wednesday Addams » Wed Oct 03, 2012 10:15 am

Dear Professor cluebie,

What a thoughtful question. Of course, I'm very fond of #000000 (black), but as I'm sure you know, this is a shade, not a color (or colour, for our friends still under thrall to the quainter version of the English language).

For a favo(u)rite colo(u)r, I would choose #CD5C5C (indian red). It brings back such fond memories of my summer at Camp Chippewa.
  • Image
Thank you.

∞ Wednesday Addams curtseys ∞

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Post by WhirlPlaid » Wed Oct 03, 2012 12:36 pm

Dear Wednesday,

How does your wonderful friend Thing travel so quickly from one room to another in your house with out ever being seen?

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Post by Wednesday Addams » Wed Oct 03, 2012 2:12 pm

Dear Mr. WhirlPlaid,

I like your name very much. It makes me want to put things in blenders to see what will happen. Pappa Gomez says I have a zest for experimentation.

Thing usually teleports around the house. The simultaneous dead and not-dead states appeal to my family, especially my brother Pugsley. Pugsley also has a zest for experimentation. Kitty seems to enjoy it, too.

I like the way Thing braids my hair better, though.

Thank you.

∞ Wednesday Addams curtseys ∞

Image
(Thing is not a qubit, but the process is very much like quantum teleportation.)

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Post by Llama LluxaLlot » Wed Oct 03, 2012 2:39 pm

Hello Wednesday,

Could you please tell me what your favorite method of decapitation is?

Thank you very much.

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Post by nimrod7 » Wed Oct 03, 2012 3:45 pm

Dear Wednesday Addams, what is your favorite day of the week?

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Post by paranoiarodeo » Wed Oct 03, 2012 4:28 pm

Wednesday:

Should I start a "scotch of the month" club, and encourage Luxers to mail me bottles?

Please advise.

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Post by el toro » Wed Oct 03, 2012 4:34 pm

dear wednesday,
does this look infected?

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Post by Milltycoon » Wed Oct 03, 2012 4:45 pm

Dear Wednesday--
There was a famous VISA credit card commercial starring Jerry Seinfeld in about 1996. He got locked out of his apartment as he was talking to a woman about an upcoming date, but because he had his VISA card with him, he was able to buy new clothes, flowers, etc. and could still impress his date that night.

My question is: Why did he not just use the credit card to slide into and unlock the door?

Thanks.

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Post by jesterme » Wed Oct 03, 2012 5:26 pm

Hey Wednesday:

I have a huge growth on my neck and I am coughing up blood lately. Do you think it is serious?
Last edited by jesterme on Thu Oct 04, 2012 2:43 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Post by Wednesday Addams » Thu Oct 04, 2012 2:04 am

Llux Llama wrote:Hello Wednesday,

Could you please tell me what your favorite method of decapitation is?

Thank you very much.
Dear Miss Llux Llama,

Your question makes me smile. May I stroke your silky fur?

I prefer the guillotine, although it is rather difficult to procure a proper one these days. For dolls, the Kent Scientific D-CAP model is effective, but it lacks the elegance and satisfying thwack one gets from an old-fashioned, full-sized guillotine. The patina that develops after decades or centuries of use adds immeasurably to the experience. Fortunately, my Aunt Ophelia left her c 1790 heirloom in our house when she went off to Bolivia to "find herselves".

Would you like to come over and play?

Image

Thank you.



∞ Wednesday Addams curtseys ∞

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Post by Wednesday Addams » Thu Oct 04, 2012 2:19 am

Nimrod7 wrote:Dear Wednesday Addams, what is your favorite day of the week?
Dear Mr. Nimrod7,

Are you a clown?

Image
(At least you didn't resort to this sort of wordplay.)

Thank you.

∞ Wednesday Addams curtseys ∞
Last edited by Wednesday Addams on Thu Oct 04, 2012 2:36 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Post by Wednesday Addams » Thu Oct 04, 2012 2:33 am

paranoiarodeo wrote:Wednesday:

Should I start a "scotch of the month" club, and encourage Luxers to mail me bottles?

Please advise.
Dear Mr. paranoiarodeo,

Only if it is made from real Scots. And you should wear a kilt, please.

Image

Thank you.


∞ Wednesday Addams curtseys ∞

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Post by Wednesday Addams » Thu Oct 04, 2012 3:22 am

el toro wrote:dear wednesday,
does this look infected?
Dear Señor el toro,

Not any more. You were very brave.

Image

Thank you.

∞ Wednesday Addams curtseys ∞

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Post by Wednesday Addams » Thu Oct 04, 2012 3:50 am

Milltycoon wrote:Dear Wednesday--
There was a famous VISA credit card commercial starring Jerry Seinfeld in about 1996. He got locked out of his apartment as he was talking to a woman about an upcoming date, but because he had his VISA card with him, he was able to buy new clothes, flowers, etc. and could still impress his date that night.

My question is: Why did he not just use the credit card to slide into and unlock the door?

Thanks.

Dear Mr. Mill Tycoon,

I am about to disillusion you. This makes me sad, but as a Tycoon, it is important that you know these things.

Credit card companies pay to make such lovely small films not for pure love of the cinematic arts. Oh no. The Visa credit card company hopes to make more money by convincing you to use their product to engage in the profligate purchase of marginal goods with imaginary money, then send them real money later. Their profit is greater on the use of plastic cards as imaginary money than on the more pedestrian uses (opening locks, cleaning fingernails, bookmarks). Thus, Mr. Jerry Seinfeld is paid to encourage you to do the former, not the latter.

As distressing as you may find that news, Mr. Mill Tycoon, there's more.

Mr. Jerry Seinfeld was paid a lot of money by the Visa credit card company to make said cinematic gem. Mr. Jerry Seinfeld has been paid a lot of money by other companies, too. People with a lot of money are notoriously bad at picking locks.

I sincerely hope these revelations haven't upset you too much. Come the revolution, the Visa credit card company and Mr. Jerry Seinfeld will be held accountable, I promise you.

Thank you.

∞ Wednesday Addams curtseys ∞

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Post by WhirlPlaid » Thu Oct 04, 2012 11:16 am

Wednesday Addams wrote: Come the revolution...
Dear Wednesday,

Could you give us your thoughts on "the revolution"? Who will be affected? When will it happen? Who is gonna win? Will I still get to eat pie?

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Post by Wednesday Addams » Thu Oct 04, 2012 11:53 am

jesterme wrote:Hey Wednesday:

I have a huge growth on my neck and I am coughing up blood lately. Do you think it is serious?
Hiya, jesterme--

I'm so pleased for you. Congratulations! Only yesterday, Mamma was fretting about the lackluster quality of your cough lately.

Image

Can you come over and play?

Thank you.


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Post by Lantern » Thu Oct 04, 2012 5:47 pm

Dear Wednesday,

I was curious if your family are related to the Munsters and if so have you ever done your Genealogy tree?

Lantern

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Post by mazza » Fri Oct 05, 2012 12:23 am

"Where is Uncle Fester, and what part of him is festering?"

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Post by Wednesday Addams » Fri Oct 05, 2012 1:45 pm

WhirlPlaid wrote:Dear Wednesday,

Could you give us your thoughts on "the revolution"? Who will be affected? When will it happen? Who is gonna win? Will I still get to eat pie?
Dear Mr. WhirlPlaid,

Yes. Everyone. Soon. The will of the people shall triumph. Of course.

Image

Thank you.

∞ Wednesday Addams curtseys, and reminds Mr. WhirlPlaid sotto voce that spies are everywhere... ∞

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Post by Wednesday Addams » Fri Oct 05, 2012 2:07 pm

Lantern wrote:Dear Wednesday,

I was curious if your family are related to the Munsters and if so have you ever done your Genealogy tree?

Lantern
Dear Mr. Lantern,

Your alter ego is very cute. I especially appreciate the sly nod to the prevailing mythos of superhero disguise provided by the Clark Kent eyeglasses.

The Addamses have a deep and abiding interest in all matters genealogical, particularly the long and storied history of our own family. The resulting tree can be quite thrillingly tortuous at times; here is a peek at one small section:

Image
(I am at the very tippy tip of the branch near the second vulture from the right.)

The Munsters are a mere shrubbery by comparison. I suppose if one went back far enough, there might be a slight connection between the two families. Assuming they are not all extra-terrestrial in origin, of course.

Thank you.

∞ Wednesday Addams curtseys ∞

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Post by n00less cluebie » Fri Oct 05, 2012 2:12 pm

Dear Wednesday,

If a Train moving at 120 KPH leaves Toronto at 7:00 AM heading south, and a train moving at 90 MPH leaves Buffalo, NY at 8:15 AM heading North, how do you sneak the resulting bloody body parts through customs?

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Post by Llama LluxaLlot » Fri Oct 05, 2012 2:47 pm

Oh pint sized purveyor of the putrid,

IF you were precariously perched upon a pointy precipice above a pond of peppy piranha, would you be perturbed?

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Post by Wednesday Addams » Fri Oct 05, 2012 3:04 pm

mazza wrote:"Where is Uncle Fester, and what part of him is festering?"
Dear Mr. mazza,

Hello. I see that you are from Adelaide, S.A. Do you know the very famous Mr. Mazzarolo who runs naked through the streets?

Uncle Fester is currently in our playroom, helping Pappa with some particularly delicate train collisions. Thank you for asking. I will convey your interest to him at the earliest opportunity, once the smoke has cleared a bit.

My darling Mamma, Morticia, has explained the "facts of life" to me, including the infinite fascination males show for their own anatomy (and that of other males), so I will try to satisfy your curiosity.

Fester is a traditional Addams family name, bestowed on the fourth male member of every third generation. Although our dear Uncle Fester is kept very busy publishing in the field of clandestine chemistry and with his political interests,

Image

he still manages to fulfill the expectations of others engendered by his name. He tries to rotate the areas allowed to fester by season; currently, he is sporting an "autumnal left ear". I imagine that in Australia, with its topsy-turvy seasons, October would mean festering down under for you.

Thank you.

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Post by Wednesday Addams » Fri Oct 05, 2012 3:41 pm

n00less cluebie wrote:Dear Wednesday,

If a Train moving at 120 KPH leaves Toronto at 7:00 AM heading south, and a train moving at 90 MPH leaves Buffalo, NY at 8:15 AM heading North, how do you sneak the resulting bloody body parts through customs?
Dear Professor cluebie,

This is the most fun question yet!

Image

My Pappa Gomez was very happy to help re-enact your scenario. Allowing a carefully calcuated rest stop in Grimsby for the the southbound train, the collision could occur at Niagara Falls. The trains and body parts would be swept into Lake Ontario, and from there could easily be brought ashore at a desolate location in either the US or Canada. Although, the bloodiness would be problematic at that stage... * frownie face*

Thank you.

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Post by Wednesday Addams » Fri Oct 05, 2012 4:10 pm

Llux Llama wrote:Oh pint sized purveyor of the putrid,

IF you were precariously perched upon a pointy precipice above a pond of peppy piranha, would you be perturbed?
Dear Miss Llux Llama,

You're pretty peachy. I would be positively pleased by the predicament. WATUSI!

Image

Thank you.

∞ Wednesday Addams curtseys ∞

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Post by Milltycoon » Fri Oct 05, 2012 6:03 pm

Dear Ms. Addams--

What are your thoughts on the actress Christina Ricci?

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Post by THE J-Dude » Fri Oct 05, 2012 6:15 pm

To: Wednesday Addams
From: The J-Dude
Subject: Music

Hello!
I would like to know what your favorite music is to listen to while contemplating possible "accidents".

Thank you!

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Post by Lantern » Fri Oct 05, 2012 8:20 pm

Dear Ms. Adams,

Besides Halloween what holidays do you celebrate?


Sincerely
Lantern

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