GAME :: Ask Wednesday Addams

Zombie Lincoln will save your Lux soul.
User avatar
paranoiarodeo
Semiholy Exile
Posts: 10421
Joined: Sun Jul 17, 2005 5:30 pm

Post by paranoiarodeo » Thu Oct 11, 2012 8:29 pm

Wednesday:

I'm troubled by your earlier answer. Scotch made from Scotsmen?

Shouldn't good scotch be made from the tears and blood of Englishmen?

(Maybe a few Irishmen and Welshmen too, if you like blended scotches.)

∞ paranoiarodeo frets ∞

User avatar
Wednesday Addams
Luxer
Posts: 50
Joined: Wed Aug 29, 2012 2:01 am
Location: 0001 Cemetery Lane
Contact:

Post by Wednesday Addams » Thu Oct 11, 2012 9:14 pm

Dear Mr. paranoiarodeo,

Clearly, the indiscriminate quaffing of ersatz "scotch" made from inferior ingredients has addled your brain. I was very much afraid that this would happen. I bet you aren't even wearing a kilt.

Thank you.

∞ Wednesday Addams scowls ∞

User avatar
WhirlPlaid
miSKAlaneous
Posts: 3872
Joined: Thu Aug 30, 2007 10:55 pm
Location: Habitual board flippers should have their dice taken away.

Post by WhirlPlaid » Sun Oct 14, 2012 1:24 pm

Dear Wednesday,

Do you have any advice for the abscess I just found on the underside of my foot?

Thank you in advance,
WP

User avatar
Lantern
Lux Superhero
Posts: 4078
Joined: Sat Jul 07, 2007 12:18 am
Location: Floating down the river
Contact:

Post by Lantern » Sun Oct 14, 2012 10:58 pm

Dear Wednesday,

What is your favorite food?

Sincerely

Lantern

User avatar
Llama LluxaLlot
Llux Lliaison
Posts: 5811
Joined: Sat Oct 06, 2007 1:23 pm
Location: Well...here!

Post by Llama LluxaLlot » Mon Oct 15, 2012 12:58 am

It's windy isn't it?
no, it's thursday.
Me too. Let's have a cup of tea.

User avatar
Wednesday Addams
Luxer
Posts: 50
Joined: Wed Aug 29, 2012 2:01 am
Location: 0001 Cemetery Lane
Contact:

Post by Wednesday Addams » Mon Oct 15, 2012 8:10 am

WhirlPlaid wrote:Dear Wednesday,

Do you have any advice for the abscess I just found on the underside of my foot?

Thank you in advance,
WP
Dear Mr. WhirlPlaid,

My, that is a nasty one... well done! I would encourage you to share the abscess with all your friends, soon, if you want them to be terribly impressed by your skill. Because, yes, I've seen these before. They must be nipped in the bud, so to speak. They are impossible to eradicate using traditional medical treatments, even in the hands of the most gifted practitioner.

Image

Fortunately, you have a friend with a guillotine. Would you like to chobble over and play?

Thank you.

∞ Wednesday Addams curtseys ∞

User avatar
Wednesday Addams
Luxer
Posts: 50
Joined: Wed Aug 29, 2012 2:01 am
Location: 0001 Cemetery Lane
Contact:

Post by Wednesday Addams » Mon Oct 15, 2012 8:12 am

Lantern wrote:Dear Wednesday,

What is your favorite food?

Sincerely

Lantern
Dear Mr. Lantern,

Nerds.

Make of that what you will.

Thank you.

∞ Wednesday Addams curtseys ∞

User avatar
Wednesday Addams
Luxer
Posts: 50
Joined: Wed Aug 29, 2012 2:01 am
Location: 0001 Cemetery Lane
Contact:

Post by Wednesday Addams » Mon Oct 15, 2012 8:21 am

Llux Llama wrote:It's windy isn't it?
no, it's thursday.
Me too. Let's have a cup of tea.
Dear Miss Llux Llama,

Oh, yes, please! I am very fond of your special teas. They make me giggle.

Thank you.




∞ Wednesday Addams curtseys, pinky out. ∞

User avatar
n00less cluebie
Lux Cantor
Posts: 8375
Joined: Sun Jan 06, 2008 8:55 am
Location: At the Official Clown Reference Librarian Desk--'All the answers you weren't looking for.'
Contact:

Post by n00less cluebie » Mon Oct 15, 2012 9:48 am

Dear Wednesday Addams,

The Château La-Strychnine Rothchild 1952 you recommended did not provide the appropriate level of asphyxiation promised on the label. I was hoping to achieve more of a robin's egg blue shade of pallor, but instead I barely reached cerulean before my heart started pumping again! :evil:

I know you often suggest a more...permanent solution to the problem, but then how will I keep up with the latest LolZombeez cartoons at www.icanhazbrainzzzzz.com?

Image

Hee hee! Don't you want to just EAT THAT UP!?

User avatar
Wednesday Addams
Luxer
Posts: 50
Joined: Wed Aug 29, 2012 2:01 am
Location: 0001 Cemetery Lane
Contact:

Post by Wednesday Addams » Tue Oct 16, 2012 4:22 pm

Dear Professor n00less cluebie,

Are you quite certain about the shade of blue? Perhaps you should have another little guzzle, and then use these images for reference.

ImageImage

If, indeed, the Rothschilds have led you astray, I would suggest contacting them privately. 1952 was a bit of an off year for them, after all*. And I hear they can be relied upon to compensate quite generously those with legitimate grievances.

Thank you.

∞ Wednesday Addams curtseys ∞



*What with two failed coups and Ghislaine joining the US Merchant Marine.

User avatar
WhirlPlaid
miSKAlaneous
Posts: 3872
Joined: Thu Aug 30, 2007 10:55 pm
Location: Habitual board flippers should have their dice taken away.

Post by WhirlPlaid » Tue Oct 16, 2012 4:30 pm

wheh... that was close!

User avatar
Wednesday Addams
Luxer
Posts: 50
Joined: Wed Aug 29, 2012 2:01 am
Location: 0001 Cemetery Lane
Contact:

Post by Wednesday Addams » Tue Oct 16, 2012 7:43 pm

Dear Mr. Whirlplaid,

Yes, indeed, it was. An abscess like that should never go unremarked. Thank you for allowing Uncle Fester to use the footage for in his campaign advertisement. It should give his numbers quite a boost!

Grandmama assures me that you will become accustomed to the prosthetic foot in no time at all. Nonetheless, she and Mamma are whipping up a little nostrum just for you.

Image

It smells revolting. I am envious.

Thank you.

∞ Wednesday Addams curtseys ∞

User avatar
SunTzu
Lux Cartographer
Posts: 1585
Joined: Sat Jan 14, 2006 1:48 am
Location: Maryland

Post by SunTzu » Wed Oct 17, 2012 9:23 pm

Dear Wednesday, Dear Wednesday, my fountain pen leaks.
My wife hollers at me and my kids are all freaks.
Every side I get up on is the wrong side of bed.
If it weren't so expensive, I'd wish I were dead.

Signed SunTzu

User avatar
Wednesday Addams
Luxer
Posts: 50
Joined: Wed Aug 29, 2012 2:01 am
Location: 0001 Cemetery Lane
Contact:

Post by Wednesday Addams » Thu Oct 18, 2012 12:14 am

Dear SunTzu, Dear SunTzu,

You have no complaint. You are what you are, and you ain't what you ain't.
Do listen up, Buster, and listen up good... stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood!

Thank you.


∞ Wednesday Addams curtseys, and thanks Mr. John Prine for his words of wisdom ∞

User avatar
Llama LluxaLlot
Llux Lliaison
Posts: 5811
Joined: Sat Oct 06, 2007 1:23 pm
Location: Well...here!

Post by Llama LluxaLlot » Thu Oct 18, 2012 2:58 pm

Dear Ms. Adams the younger,

What is you greatest fear? There are a lot of great fears out there, but I am curious as to YOU personal favorite?

-Llux's Llama.

User avatar
Wednesday Addams
Luxer
Posts: 50
Joined: Wed Aug 29, 2012 2:01 am
Location: 0001 Cemetery Lane
Contact:

Post by Wednesday Addams » Thu Oct 18, 2012 11:09 pm

Dear Miss Llux Llama,

My very favorite fear is, of course, the fear I inspire in the pert and perky.

Image

See? Doesn't that send an absolutely marvelous chill down your spine?

Thank you.

∞ Wednesday Addams curtseys ∞

User avatar
Wednesday Addams
Luxer
Posts: 50
Joined: Wed Aug 29, 2012 2:01 am
Location: 0001 Cemetery Lane
Contact:

Post by Wednesday Addams » Mon Oct 22, 2012 6:37 pm

Wednesday Addams asks:

What will you be for the Halloween festivities this year? What was your favorite costume?

Image

Thank you.

∞ Wednesday Addams curtseys ∞

User avatar
WhirlPlaid
miSKAlaneous
Posts: 3872
Joined: Thu Aug 30, 2007 10:55 pm
Location: Habitual board flippers should have their dice taken away.

Post by WhirlPlaid » Mon Oct 22, 2012 6:44 pm

Wednesday Addams wrote:Wednesday Addams asks:

What will you be for the Halloween festivities this year?
Image

WhirlPlaid drunkenly bows.

User avatar
Kude
omni member
Posts: 1890
Joined: Sat Aug 14, 2010 8:18 pm
Location: waiting in line for luxtober §

Post by Kude » Mon Oct 22, 2012 6:50 pm

Image
kude looks for volunteers to be his companion die

User avatar
Lantern
Lux Superhero
Posts: 4078
Joined: Sat Jul 07, 2007 12:18 am
Location: Floating down the river
Contact:

Post by Lantern » Tue Oct 23, 2012 1:35 pm

Dear Wednesday,

Do you know Sasquatch? And if so, is he OK? We are concerned.

Sincerely,
Lantern

User avatar
Wednesday Addams
Luxer
Posts: 50
Joined: Wed Aug 29, 2012 2:01 am
Location: 0001 Cemetery Lane
Contact:

Post by Wednesday Addams » Thu Oct 25, 2012 4:34 pm

Dear Mr. Lantern,

Hello again. You truly do have a questing mind... are you sure you're not an Addams?

I have never had the pleasure of meeting Mr. sasquatch, although you are not the first person to assume that. Mamma thinks it might be because of the resemblance he bears to Cousin Itt. I don't see it, personally. No, I suspect that it is because Mr. sasquatch, perhaps unknowingly, lives his life by the Addams Credo.

Image

In any event, I do hope he is well, but I cannot offer my personal assurance at this time.

Thank you.

∞ Wednesday Addams curtseys ∞

User avatar
Richard Dawson
Zombie Host
Posts: 111
Joined: Wed Aug 29, 2012 3:28 am
Location: Kissing lovely contestants... perhaps biting, too

Post by Richard Dawson » Sun Oct 28, 2012 2:28 pm

Wednesday Addams wrote:What will you be for the Halloween festivities this year?
Semi-Holy bait.
Image

User avatar
SunTzu
Lux Cartographer
Posts: 1585
Joined: Sat Jan 14, 2006 1:48 am
Location: Maryland

Post by SunTzu » Mon Oct 29, 2012 2:12 pm

Dear Ms. Wednesday Addams,

How much trouble will I get into for hosting a Mafia game without a Mafia?

Sincerely, SunTzu

User avatar
Lantern
Lux Superhero
Posts: 4078
Joined: Sat Jul 07, 2007 12:18 am
Location: Floating down the river
Contact:

Post by Lantern » Mon Oct 29, 2012 2:54 pm

Dear Wednesday,

Are you preparing for the big hurricane? Do you have any safety tips for others?

Sincerely
Lantern

User avatar
Wednesday Addams
Luxer
Posts: 50
Joined: Wed Aug 29, 2012 2:01 am
Location: 0001 Cemetery Lane
Contact:

Post by Wednesday Addams » Wed Oct 31, 2012 11:10 am

SunTzu wrote:Dear Ms. Wednesday Addams,

How much trouble will I get into for hosting a Mafia game without a Mafia?

Sincerely, SunTzu

Dear Mr. SunTzu,

A lot.

Image

Think of this as a fortunate turn of events. As with many great artists, your genius may only be fully recognized after you have shuffled off this mortal coil. I hope you receive great posthumous pleasure from your 2012 Mafia Don Lux award.

Thank you.

∞ Wednesday Addams curtseys ∞

User avatar
Wednesday Addams
Luxer
Posts: 50
Joined: Wed Aug 29, 2012 2:01 am
Location: 0001 Cemetery Lane
Contact:

Post by Wednesday Addams » Wed Oct 31, 2012 11:24 am

Lantern wrote:Dear Wednesday,

Are you preparing for the big hurricane? Do you have any safety tips for others?

Sincerely
Lantern
Dear Mr. Lantern,

My advice is to always expect the worst. You might say that I myself am therefore in a perpetual state of readiness for most natural or unnatural disasters that might befall an Addams. I will add this piece of advice... watch Mr. deez nuts carefully and emulate his every move. He has a knack for survival that would put the cockroach to shame.

You seem like a very nice man. I hope you enjoy(ed) the Big Blow.

Thank you.

∞ Wednesday Addams curtseys ∞

User avatar
Wednesday Addams
Luxer
Posts: 50
Joined: Wed Aug 29, 2012 2:01 am
Location: 0001 Cemetery Lane
Contact:

Post by Wednesday Addams » Wed Oct 31, 2012 11:28 am

Dear Very Polite and Charming Luxers,

It was a pleasure to meet you, and I very much enjoyed our time together. I regret that I must now fully devote my time to preparations for the holiday, but hope we will meet again. Until then, Happy Luxtoberfest, Happy Halloween, and

Image

Thank you.

∞ Wednesday Addams curtseys. Deeply. ∞

User avatar
WhirlPlaid
miSKAlaneous
Posts: 3872
Joined: Thu Aug 30, 2007 10:55 pm
Location: Habitual board flippers should have their dice taken away.

Post by WhirlPlaid » Wed Oct 31, 2012 11:34 am

Dear Wednesday,

Thank you so much for you considerate and thoughtful words of wisdom. Your presence in our forums was a wonderful distraction from our daily woes. I for one and genuinely looking forward to future encounters.

Thank you again,
WP

Locked