Two truths and a lie

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imapickle
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Post by imapickle » Thu Apr 18, 2013 6:01 pm

Incorrect Dolla. Marmite is marvelous. Have another guess.

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Schroberts
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Post by Schroberts » Thu Apr 18, 2013 6:10 pm

It has to be #1. If you are not a pickle, my whole world is going to be shattered!

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Schroberts
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Post by Schroberts » Thu Apr 18, 2013 6:11 pm

Also, I think 3DA is lying about #1. Different band, maybe?

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imapickle
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Post by imapickle » Thu Apr 18, 2013 6:13 pm

Correct Schroberts. Dolla took some kind of flower arranging course I believe.

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imapickle
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Post by imapickle » Thu Apr 18, 2013 6:22 pm

It has come as quite a shock to me to discover just how many luxers are liars I must say.

*drunken spelling and triple posting corrected.

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Post by Drifter » Thu Apr 18, 2013 9:45 pm

∞ Drifter places the evil dill soaked cucumber back in the jar, then buries the jar in the backyard until it is actually his turn ∞

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Llama LluxaLlot
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Post by Llama LluxaLlot » Fri Apr 19, 2013 3:19 am

Pickles make their own rules. Always have and always will.

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n00less cluebie
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Post by n00less cluebie » Fri Apr 19, 2013 5:41 am

Never try to thwart the wart

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3DA
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Post by 3DA » Fri Apr 19, 2013 10:03 am

I had a wart once, and I could not thwart it. It came, it stayed, and it left - all on it's own time.

All of that is true except ol' Steve wasn't at the Pumpkins show. So 02 it is.

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Post by n00less cluebie » Fri Apr 19, 2013 10:46 am

So to recap: No one got 3DA's correct, but Schroberts got Imapickle's "correct" (?) so..... take it away Schrobby!

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Llama LluxaLlot
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Post by Llama LluxaLlot » Fri Apr 19, 2013 12:02 pm

I got it right! Until I changed it to 3. Oh. I did not get it right. Go ahead Schroberts.

:smt049

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Post by WhirlPlaid » Fri Apr 19, 2013 12:11 pm

I believe that his entire thread is a lie. Or maybe a bad dream?

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Post by Drifter » Fri Apr 19, 2013 12:27 pm

Focus people, FOCUS!!!!

∞ Drifter sighs ∞

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Schroberts
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Post by Schroberts » Fri Apr 19, 2013 12:59 pm

I've already gone twice... wanna take my turn, Llovely Llama?

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Post by n00less cluebie » Fri Apr 19, 2013 1:39 pm

Yes Llama! Yes!

Tell us about the Before Time....in the long long ago.

∞ n00less cluebie wants to hear about the llama's three-way ∞

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Post by Llama LluxaLlot » Sat Apr 20, 2013 1:43 am

What would a 3 way be in base 2?

∞ Llux Llama hmmms.... ∞

OK. The name of this game is in WHICH WAYS did my dad inadvertently (I hope) try to kill me? I would like to point out, just for your own amusement, that my dad is a SCIENTIST. He is supposed to know things.

1. While hiking in the Western Rockies in Canada we came up over a ridge to find a large furry animal with protruding teeth sunning itself on a rock. This animal did not look like a k-9 or like a cat. I surmised that it was a Wolverine.

While I was surmising, my dad was preparing to poke it with his walking stick. He is an avid amateur photographer and explained later that he wanted an action shot. We survived by the sheer luck of the animal being very sleepy from the sun and/or full from taking down the previous hikers. When Dad tried to sneak noisily (dad is flat footed) over to it, it gave us a look COMPLETELY without fear and slowly walked off. I looked it up in a area guide later (the interwebs had not been widely available yet. ) It had been a large wolverine. The wolverine, for you who are only familiar with the comic book character, is the only animal besides man who hunts just for fun.

2. My dad and I were in Dorny Park. Dorny park is (or was) a poor man's six flags. I believe it was somewhere in the state of NJ. It may have been in rural Pennsylvania. I didn't pay attention to that kind of thing (I never knew where I was. I didn't see how that was important) at the time.

They used to advertise that they had the largest remaining wooden roller coaster in the USA. All of the sane amusement parks now used metal. This was a wooden giant with peeling yellow paint and very little shock absorption. The coaster cars had the old fashioned bars that you could hold onto, but came nowhere close to your lap unless you weighed over 180 lbs. I did not. Those convenient shoulder bars that make it impossible to fall out were years away from being invented.

One of the "cool" things about this roller coaster is that it shook like hell when you rode it. You would get shaken all around just going straight. My dad, of course, sat us in the back seat for the greatest jarring possible. We clicked up the initial hill. We sped down and around. I was gripping the bar for dear life. the lower half of my body was all over the place. every so often I succeeded in lining it up with the upper half of my body for a moment or two.

Then we went over the second hill. Right after the apex, when the car is trying its best to throw you off like a bull, my dad gave me a little push to try and scare me. Since I was going in that direction anyway, my body acquiesced and flew out of the car completely. I was still holding onto the bar. For a moment my hands were the only contact point with the coaster. Dad grabbed my by my jeans and pulled my back onto the seat. He said he hadn't expected that to happen. He also told me not to tell my mother.

3. At least once a year My family would go and visit my grandmother in Florida. This was my father's mother. They had a strained relationship. My dad would not have us stay in my grandmother's house. This was for practical reasons. They would practically kill each other if they stayed in the same house for a week.

Therefore we got to stay in a hotel on or near the beach. Florida has fabulous beaches with white sand and deep blue water and jellyfish warnings. Deadly man-of-war jellyfish are florescent blue and have their own blue warning flag. My dad has been known to throw a jellyfish or to at me while swimming in the ocean. But never a man-of-war. Even he won't swim with a blue flag up.

HA! you thought this attempt on my life would be jellyfish related. But it is not.

Dad and I loved to snorkel. My sister was an ok snorkeler but liked to keep near land. So dad and I would take off for deeper water. Now dad wore large fins because he has large feet. I wore small fins because even at my full height I needed children's fins. This means that for every kick my dad took I had to take 2 or three to keep up. Keeping up was not usually a problem. We would swim, look, dive, look, swim...and not generally hurry along. Then suddenly dad started racing through the water. I did my best to follow him. I had no idea why we were swimming so fast. I couldn't ask because he wasn't looking back and I could barely keep up. Suddenly 2,000 small fish swam past us going the opposite way. They weaved madly around us trying to get away from something. That something was not us. I see a giant shadow in the water ahead of us. Dad motions for us to turn around and race after the retreating fish. I swam as hard as I could and hope there were more fish between us and the shark!

Dad later said he had seen a large shape in the water and swam after it hoping to see a shark. When all of those panicked fish swam by us he rethought the wisdom of racing towards a shark of unknown species. So he figured we should follow the fish. My mom said that she saw a shark fin come up out of the water and go back down. She was angry. She called dad many names that I will not repeat here. Most of them boiled down to "Idiot!"


So which one is the lie? Why did I just write so damn much? Someone give me the answers!

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WhirlPlaid
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Post by WhirlPlaid » Sat Apr 20, 2013 10:44 pm

I will guess that the shark story is the lie. More importantly you had to write so much because that is how you write a good story.

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Post by n00less cluebie » Sun Apr 21, 2013 12:15 am

I'm guessing the roller coaster story is the lie as a scientist should understand the theory of momentum....

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Llama LluxaLlot
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Post by Llama LluxaLlot » Sun Apr 21, 2013 2:17 am

Half Llama brother Whirlyplaid gets the shiny!

The set up was this- we were all in the hotel room looking out of the big windows at the beach. We ALL saw a giant frelling shadow. My dad grabbed his snorkeling gear as fast as he could and ran down to the beach while we all yelled that he was crazy. He RAN out of that room he was so excited, calling for me to come with him. Most of the times he tried to kill me had one thing in common. I had no warning. This time I knew what was going down and I said no way.

So we see him go toward the moving shadow. Fin breaks water, fin goes down. Dad's splashing quickly comes back towards land. He told us about the 2000 fish bumping into him whilst fleeing certain death. Dad followed the fish. Mom DID call him an idiot. But she called him an idiot many more times and more violently when I told her how dad almost threw me out of the roller coaster.

Cluebie, to this day I do not know what he was thinking. I mentioned to him that he had personally advanced the world of scientific knowledge (He is approaching 500 publications in peer reviewed journals and has lectured all over the world).

AND YET

The thing, I think, is he doesn't pay attention to details in real time. If he had noticed how much I was being bounced around as apposed to himself I like to think he would not have thought this a funny thing to do.

I like to think.....

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Post by WhirlPlaid » Mon Apr 22, 2013 12:47 pm

I think he knew what was going on (roller coaster), and did it on purpose to scare the bejesus outta you.

1. This one time in the summer of 1996 in Cabo San Lucas after a few too many beers, some friends and I snuck into a Sammy Hagar show at his cantina Cabo Wabo. It was the first time he was performing with his new band the Waboritas. We managed to work our way to the front of the stage where Sammy was hand delivering shots of his new tequila. I had a tasty pull and promptly vomited all over an attractive woman standing directly in front of me. She not very pleased with a vomit covered halter top, started to take off her shirt. The bouncers (being good Sammy personal) promptly escorted her back stage. When I tried to follow, I was grabbed and quickly shown the back door.

2. This one time in the summer of 1990 I went on a tour of Europe with a jazz ensemble where we performed at six different venues including Montreax, Den Haag, North Sea and a few others that I just don't remember. After the two weeks of touring, my friends and I continued to travel to Rome, Heidleberg, Nice and a few other spots that I just don't remember. At the time, I was a starving student with little to no dollars so I managed to live for two weeks on nothing but peanut butter, jelly, bread, water and cheese. I traveled at night via Eurorail with the cheapest ticket possible and often slept sitting up in the aisle of the budget car.

3. This one time at band camp... no, I never went to band camp... I have seen over 450 different bands/musicians starting from 1984 to present.

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Post by n00less cluebie » Tue Apr 23, 2013 4:50 pm

I'ma guess #1 is the lie. Sammy didn't form the Waboritas until 1999

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WhirlPlaid
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Post by WhirlPlaid » Tue Apr 23, 2013 5:08 pm

The name "the Waboritas" wasn't released until 1999 but the band line up as it was then, and is now, originally known as "Sammy and his band" started in 1996 (maybe 1997 (summer of)). Still, number one is the lie. I DID sneak in and see Sammy, I DID drink tequila with him, I DID NOT vomit on anyone, and I DID get to meet him after the show. (Nice guy).

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Post by n00less cluebie » Tue Apr 23, 2013 5:37 pm

Nice to know you can hold your liquor:

Here's an easy one:

1. There will be cookies

2. There will be cake

3. There will be pie

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dollabillz
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Post by dollabillz » Tue Apr 23, 2013 5:45 pm

the cake is a pie

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imapickle
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Post by imapickle » Tue Apr 23, 2013 6:17 pm

#1 is incorrect. There will be biscuits.

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WhirlPlaid
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Post by WhirlPlaid » Tue Apr 23, 2013 6:26 pm

1 + 2 + 3 = 6

6 slices of pie please.

Screw the cake.

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Llama LluxaLlot
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Post by Llama LluxaLlot » Tue Apr 23, 2013 8:53 pm

anything that is not pie can leave the building. I agree with whirlybird.

You have to eat cake and biscuits with tea. We all know there is no tea. There is only that which is almost but not entirely unlike tea.

Therefore number one is the lie. I agree with professor pickle.

will now eat a block of chocolate as big as my head.

ok. That was A LIE. I wish I had a block of chocolate as big as my head.

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Rhye
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Post by Rhye » Tue Apr 23, 2013 9:09 pm

Supposedly the cake was a lie, but when we see the ending we clearly find the cake sitting there all by itself. How sad. Also, because of the high concentration of clowns here, pie is surely here.

#1 is the lie.

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Post by n00less cluebie » Wed Apr 24, 2013 7:35 am

Alas it's not real cake, so ima give this one to dolla....

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Post by Llama LluxaLlot » Wed Apr 24, 2013 11:05 am

n00less cluebie wrote:Alas it's not real cake, so ima give this one to dolla....
Well no, not NOW that you ATE it! SHEESH!

You owe us all pie.

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