The Omni-Holy Church of Lux

Eice · Post by **Eice** » Mon Nov 19, 2007 9:36 pm

Robert E. Lee wrote:I must say General Robert E. Lee
is pleased to see so many young men
holding his kiwis with such fondness.

Sir Robet E. Lee!

Eice bows his head to the great general.

Sir, we are truly blessed by your presence!
We have been trying to spread your holy-ness of doves, kiwi, and the symbol §

Lantern · Post by **Lantern** » Mon Nov 19, 2007 9:43 pm

§

The general Robert E Lee has spoken! We are honored! I also sent Dustin a basket of kiwis for his kind support!

Kiwis are great and tasty. Do not let those who speak poorly of the magnificent kiwi dissuade you (KP).

Eice · Post by **Eice** » Mon Nov 19, 2007 9:54 pm

'Nuff said...

Drifter · Post by **Drifter** » Mon Nov 19, 2007 11:31 pm

∞ Drifter steps out of his Semi-Holy position for a mere second and speaks as a Southerner, and not to defend the Omni-Holies ∞

Scad wrote:I feel obliged to note that Grant, not Lincoln, beat Lee...

Yea, and if Lee had listened to Longstreet and flanked Meade at Gettysburg instead of sending Pickett up the middle, you'd be paying taxes to Richmond instead of Washington.

The Wontrob · Post by **The Wontrob** » Mon Nov 19, 2007 11:50 pm

he never stepped back to the Semi-Holies... QUICK, WHILE HE'S IMPRESSIONABLE

Eice · Post by **Eice** » Mon Nov 19, 2007 11:56 pm

Eice quickly sends Drifter a dozen baskets of kiwi, three doves, a subscription to Omni-Weekly, a friendly welcoming to The Omni-Church of Lux, and incredible Lux Dice!

Lantern · Post by **Lantern** » Tue Nov 20, 2007 12:13 am

lantern sends drifter some nice bling! A 24 K necklace with a massive §.

lantern also sends drifters pony hay for a year and a real nice saddle.

Drifter · Post by **Drifter** » Tue Nov 20, 2007 12:15 am

Well, as long as you are going to split hairs, excuse me while I whip this out...

∞ Drifter zaps The Wontrob, Eice, and Lantern with his cattle prod, then steps back into his Semi-Holy position ∞

Eice · Post by **Eice** » Tue Nov 20, 2007 12:20 am

After recovering from the prodding, Eice whacks Drifter upside the head with his staff-o-Omni-ness

my wife hates me · Post by **my wife hates me** » Tue Nov 20, 2007 10:38 am

Drifter wrote:Well, as long as you are going to split hairs, excuse me while I whip this out...

? Drifter zaps The Wontrob, Eice, and Lantern with his cattle prod, then steps back into his Semi-Holy position ?

Oh my young startups, you will quickly learn that wars amongst the ancients must me planned and executed with the utmost attention to detail. The cattle prod for one is never to be taken lightly cept in "tag threads" and even then you only want to make faces at hillbillies from behind a certain haight ashbury hippie mod.

As for the pony boy, please accept our most sincere appology. The next time you are threatened, we will most certainly have removed the 9 volt battery from said zap stick.

Mike · Post by **Mike** » Tue Nov 20, 2007 10:42 am

Eice wrote:After recovering from the prodding, Eice whacks Drifter upside the head with his staff-o-Omni-ness

Behold - Eice's Staff-o-Omni-ness

my wife hates me · Post by **my wife hates me** » Tue Nov 20, 2007 10:58 am

Mike wrote:
Eice wrote:After recovering from the prodding, Eice whacks Drifter upside the head with his staff-o-Omni-ness

Behold - Eice's Staff-o-Omni-ness

ps mike - i aint forgot about ya, been very hectic with the holiday, I'll write to ya next week

Lantern · Post by **Lantern** » Tue Nov 20, 2007 11:01 pm

my wife hates me wrote:Eice, this is another attempt by the Semi's and Anti's to hold their monopoly on "religous" affairs. Being that both faiths are represented in the mod squad, they are neglecting the separation of church and state. Battle on brotha! And I WUB kiwis!!!

Long live the General Lee, a much better car then the st00pid Lincoln!!!

Agreed MWHM! The truth is obviously stated. It is quite funny how both of them seem united against the omni's. They fear a third church! Our movement is spreading as our membership grows. Soon they must learn to live with the fact that they brought this upon themselves.

§
always omni
lantern

long live the kiwi!

Mike · Post by **Mike** » Wed Nov 21, 2007 12:35 am

Lantern wrote:They(Semi's and Anti's) fear a third church! Our movement is spreading as our membership grows. S

THIRD??? Get in Line fellas - Flying Spaghetti Monster was 3rd - and Reaper was 4th.... you guys are playing for 5th place - and in the Lux World - only an Asshat plays for 5th!

cheech99 · Post by **cheech99** » Wed Nov 21, 2007 4:34 am

Wow, I guess I opened up a can of worms with that post..... Just as I had planned. Now that the reputation of the OMNI-Church has been damaged, I can introduce the Church of Cheech. All faithful folllowers must attend religiously, and add to my RAW Collection Box Every Sunday!!

The Wontrob · Post by **The Wontrob** » Wed Nov 21, 2007 12:45 pm

the flying spaghetti monster is a joke!

as for reaper, he is to be feared and respected but not worshipped! those who seek alliance with him on the battlefield are cast away with disrespect and derision!

i have no alliance with any Church of Lux... but I must say... given the choice between pickle, fig, or kiwi...

KIWIS ARE THE MOST DELICIOUS

Lantern · Post by **Lantern** » Sat Dec 01, 2007 6:18 pm

As omni co-founder and entrusted with keeping the kiwi garden fruitful I wish to give an update as to the status of the omni's. Below is our current membership and affiliates:

Eice - co-founder
Lantern - co-founder
Scad - although not a member of the omni's, he is recognized as our prophet
Helen - she has not spoken the sacred symbol as of yet but has been given honorary membership because she was there at the birth of the church and she all around rocks!
My Wife Hates Me - early omni member
The Wontrob - early omni member
Dustin - Has not joined the omni's yet but has spoken out in favor of kiwis and doves.

All we ask if for interested luxers to type the symbol § to be added to the ranks of the omni's.

Always omni
Lantern

pls · Post by **pls** » Sat Dec 01, 2007 9:55 pm

cheech99 wrote:Wow, I guess I opened up a can of worms with that post..... Just as I had planned. Now that the reputation of the OMNI-Church has been damaged, I can introduce the Church of Cheech. All faithful folllowers must attend religiously, and add to my RAW Collection Box Every Sunday!!

I seem to do that EVERY day I play you ... that makes me an übermember, right?

The Wontrob · Post by **The Wontrob** » Sat Dec 01, 2007 10:49 pm

Lantern wrote:As omni co-founder and entrusted with keeping the kiwi garden fruitful I wish to give an update as to the status of the omni's. Below is our current membership and affiliates:

Eice - co-founder
Lantern - co-founder
Scad - although not a member of the omni's, he is recognized as our prophet
Helen - she has not spoken the sacred symbol as of yet but has been given honorary membership because she was there at the birth of the church and she all around rocks!
My Wife Hates Me - early omni member
The Wontrob - early omni member
Dustin - Has not joined the omni's yet but has spoken out in favor of kiwis and doves.

All we ask if for interested luxers to type the symbol § to be added to the ranks of the omni's.

Always omni
Lantern

when did i become a member? i do not remember this

Eice · Post by **Eice** » Sat Dec 01, 2007 10:54 pm

The Wontrob wrote:
Lantern wrote:As omni co-founder and entrusted with keeping the kiwi garden fruitful I wish to give an update as to the status of the omni's. Below is our current membership and affiliates:

Eice - co-founder
Lantern - co-founder
Scad - although not a member of the omni's, he is recognized as our prophet
Helen - she has not spoken the sacred symbol as of yet but has been given honorary membership because she was there at the birth of the church and she all around rocks!
My Wife Hates Me - early omni member
The Wontrob - early omni member
Dustin - Has not joined the omni's yet but has spoken out in favor of kiwis and doves.

All we ask if for interested luxers to type the symbol § to be added to the ranks of the omni's.

Always omni
Lantern
when did i become a member? i do not remember this

I did not edit into our official memberlist, this was simply a mistake, you see there is someone with a name something like "The Wonton" or something, and the name was simply spelled incorrectly...

Please refer to the first page memberlist for the complete and accurate memberlist.

Lantern · Post by **Lantern** » Sat Dec 01, 2007 10:58 pm

/me apologizes for adding The Wontrob without his knowledge.

Robert E. Lee · Post by **Robert E. Lee** » Sun Dec 02, 2007 1:47 am

Would you guys get your act together... I am rolling over in my grave right now.

Gentle Fella · Post by **Gentle Fella** » Sun Dec 02, 2007 4:35 am

Mike wrote:THIRD??? Get in Line fellas...

Hoping he is in the right line but not sure why he should be in a line in the first place, a gentle fella looks over the shoulders of those in front of him, raises his right hand, his left, his right, and proceeds to ask a series of questions...

"What exactly are we in line for, why are stuffed animals cute, and who must I talk to to get a little love around here?"

Just after asking the questions and just before answers begin to arrive, the gentle fella feels the need to clarify that the kind of "love" he is talking about, is the kind between friends, not uglies.

The Wontrob · Post by **The Wontrob** » Sun Dec 02, 2007 4:42 am

Robert E. Lee wrote:Would you guys get your act together... I am rolling over in my grave right now.

lmao!!!

Lantern · Post by **Lantern** » Sun Dec 02, 2007 12:29 pm

The Wontrob wrote:
Robert E. Lee wrote:Would you guys get your act together... I am rolling over in my grave right now.
lmao!!!

That is quite funny actually

Gentle Fella · Post by **Gentle Fella** » Mon Dec 03, 2007 2:15 pm

Gentle Fella wrote:
Hoping he is in the right line but not sure why he should be in a line in the first place, a gentle fella looks over the shoulders of those in front of him, raises his right hand, his left, his right, and proceeds to ask a series of questions...[/i]

"What exactly are we in line for, why are stuffed animals cute, and who must I talk to to get a little love around here?"

Just after asking the questions and just before answers begin to arrive, the gentle fella feels the need to clarify that the kind of "love" he is talking about, is the kind between friends, not uglies.

Not that I feel a need to toot my own horn often, but can't a fella even get a slight nod for using multiple 3's? Isn't that one of the points highlighted by the new Omni entity; everything comes in 3's?

SnyperEye · Post by **SnyperEye** » Mon Dec 03, 2007 3:00 pm

The Omni's are 3rd wheelers

Mike · Post by **Mike** » Mon Dec 03, 2007 3:35 pm

SnyperEye wrote:The Omni's are 3rd wheelers

5th Wheelers - third thumbs at best...

my wife hates me · Post by **my wife hates me** » Mon Dec 03, 2007 4:00 pm

Mike wrote:
SnyperEye wrote:The Omni's are 3rd wheelers
5th Wheelers - third thumbs at best...

oh thats right, cuz were 5th in line. i guess that makes the anti's second. and using the wheel analogy, i guess we are left to assume that all antis are 2 wheelers (aka bicycle, aka bi)

Lantern · Post by **Lantern** » Mon Dec 03, 2007 9:29 pm

Gentle Fella wrote:
Gentle Fella wrote:
Hoping he is in the right line but not sure why he should be in a line in the first place, a gentle fella looks over the shoulders of those in front of him, raises his right hand, his left, his right, and proceeds to ask a series of questions...[/i]

"What exactly are we in line for, why are stuffed animals cute, and who must I talk to to get a little love around here?"

Just after asking the questions and just before answers begin to arrive, the gentle fella feels the need to clarify that the kind of "love" he is talking about, is the kind between friends, not uglies.
Not that I feel a need to toot my own horn often, but can't a fella even get a slight nod for using multiple 3's? Isn't that one of the points highlighted by the new Omni entity; everything comes in 3's?

I would like to take this opportunity to recognize fellow gentle fella as the newest member of the omni's for his tooting of his own horn although I am not sure I want to see that.

Apologies for not recognizing it sooner but it has been quite busy lately in the omni church. Our membership is slowly growing but there are many tasks that need to be tended too. Just today I was in the Kiwi garden watering the kiwi's. My Wife Hates me was in Kinko's getting pictures of Robert E Lee copied for our mass mailing. Helen has been working her fingers to the bone replying to all the correspondence that has been coming in and Eice has been busy righting all the wrongs that have occurred in the past few days posting up a storm in the forums.

We would be happy to have you join Gentle Fella. There is much to do!

I am off to clean the dove aviary.

always omni
lantern

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