Well, which side should I join?

Black Pope · Post by **Black Pope** » Fri Nov 03, 2006 5:09 pm

Okay, so I've heard from the semi-holy and anti-holy Church and am having great trouble deciding which Church i should join.
It's not everyday that a Church picks up a Pope, so I encourage each side to state their case in a convincing fashion.
What do you believe and Why?
Let's here it, kiddies....

smedz · Post by **smedz** » Fri Nov 03, 2006 5:10 pm

Follow Your Heart Joe, Any Club That Allows Toro In Is Clearly Not A Club Worth Joining!

el toro · Post by **el toro** » Fri Nov 03, 2006 7:37 pm

brother pope,
i understand how you may be tempted to join the anti-church, they are shiny and pretty, they make bold promises, and they flaunt around in small swim wear. in these time of struggle i turn to the words of Lincoln as written it the holy book of Figs chapter 12:9-14.

and even though the infidels were banished to the hall of the damned they came fourth again spewing the words of Booth and smelling of dill and brimstone. they will come with sinful things that sparkle and shine bring temptation of lust to thy eyes. they will come with blackened tongues that spread the lies of Booth. they will come with tiny suits of bathing bring temptation of lust to thy loins. forsake them lest ye be filled with the fog of the head, the shame of lies and the pee of fire.

brother pope, let Lincoln guide your heart. We shall be at the semi-holy church of Lux, drinking cheesebeer© in prayer for you.

this message has been brought to you by the semi-holy church of Lux. the views in this message are not endorsed in any way by the management of Lux. don't make me smite you with a plague. brb coffee©, fig®, duck® and Lincoln™ are copyright Church of Lux. All rights reserved. Shaddup Kef.

Drifter · Post by **Drifter** » Fri Nov 03, 2006 9:16 pm

Hey Pope, choose where you may, or consider starting you own flock when your chapel is installed in Phase Two of the Undergods Treehouse, as per your request. Phase One is almost complete, and the planning committee is almost prepared to take a few more request in addition to the ones that have been approved. Walk in peace my brother.

Drifting Development Inc is a division of Driftco Inc, helping to make Luxtopia a better place to play one invention at a time.

*Manimal · Post by *Manimal » Fri Nov 03, 2006 11:16 pm

I dont know Black Pope, Mbauer's avatar is enough to scare me out of any religious organization he's involved in.

Drifter · Post by **Drifter** » Sat Nov 04, 2006 12:09 am

∞ Drifter seconds *manimals thoughts. ∞

SnyperEye · Post by **SnyperEye** » Sat Nov 04, 2006 12:16 am

Shes waiting for you in the Antis Pope.

SIC SEMPER TYRANIS!

sasquatch · Post by **sasquatch** » Sat Nov 04, 2006 12:09 pm

∞ Sasquatch has a sudden frightening pre-election day premonition ∞

The Semi-holy Church of Lux is not demanding an exclusive commitment from Black Pope. We merely honoured him with recognition for his recent accomplishments. We at the SHCL have an abundance mentality which dictates that there is enough Black Pope for all to enjoy! He should feel free to enjoy a bitter pickle at the Anti's pagan celebration or slam a few beers at Underdog's Treehouse (at his discretion). Though we will cherish his voluntary attendance at the weekly fig feed and we will welcome him for Monday's "It's Not About the RAW" meditation circle... these are certainly not requirements nor expectations. So go and do your best work, BP, and that will be enough.

Brother Sasquatch

Drifter · Post by **Drifter** » Sat Nov 04, 2006 12:28 pm

∞ Drifter whacks Sasquatch. ∞

It is UnderGods Treehouse (not underdog), designed as a place for the newer old players who never will be invited to join either of the churches. Both churches are fine and well, but people who have not been here from the beginning need a place to call home too. So, I made it happen.[/b]

GregM · Post by **GregM** » Sat Nov 04, 2006 1:41 pm

All I know is that one side set loose a megalomaniacal powerhungry duck in an attempt to conquer the world.

mbauer · Post by **mbauer** » Mon Nov 06, 2006 2:11 pm

The anti-holy church believes in equality for all the luxers in the great land of Luxtopia. We preach tolerance, love, and above all the resistance to tyrants. We believe the power of dill is, without question, divine and omnipotent. My paramount object in the struggle against the Semi-holies is to save Luxtopia, and is not to destroy the Semi-holies. The dogmas of the quiet past are inadequate to the stormy present. The occasion is piled high with difficulty, and we must rise with the occasion. As our case is new, so we must think anew, and act anew. We must disenthrall ourselves of Semi-holy autocracy, and then we shall save Luxtopia. The Semi-holies wish to tear us apart and cast a shadow upon all our accomplishments. We must resist this, together, for at stake is the fate of our great community and the fate of the diversity which binds us. We must not fail in this struggle against semi-holy tyranny for Luxtopia must not fall into the hands of corrupt despots for any longer than it already has. We all declare for liberty; but in using the same word we do not all mean the same thing. The anti-holy liberty is provided to all without question and without malice. While the semi-holy liberty, is offered only to a select few while standing on the backs of abler Luxers and reaping the benefits of other's hard work. And it follows that each of the things is, by the respective parties, called by two different and incompatible names - liberty and tyranny.

The Semi-holies love to quote and spin the book of figs, but always leave out the most damning of evidence against them. Here in the book of figs it is written:

The Hidden teachings of the Semi-Holy Book of Figs wrote:Beware of the of the flea ridden hairy beast, for in the dawning of the true church he will be the most vicious, the most hateful, and yeah, be ridden with fleas. Do not let him into thy castle, amongst your women, lest you wish to be infested with disease. Beware the fake profit posing as a blessed figure, for his words are the most convincing yet the most harmful. He has not had a haircut in ages and his wretched mat of hair is stronger than a Scottish drunkard after losing a sacred futbol match. And most of all, beware of the Harem dance and the man girl who dawns the harem outfit, for he/she cannot be trusted and the words he/she spews will be so full of lies that the Lord Quasar will smite thee and all who are enchanted by the harem with a curse of the ghost of Saint Dustin's neck beard. Ye be warned!

I leave you, hoping that the lamp of liberty will burn in your bosoms until there shall no longer be a doubt that all luxers are created free and equal.

Sic Semper Tyranis!
MB

Preacherman · Post by **Preacherman** » Mon Nov 06, 2006 2:52 pm

st00pid mbauer wrote:... zzzzzzz ....

Clearly brother Pope the SHCL has your best interests, and the best interests of all Luxtopia, at heart. Our arms are open to all, and such is our compassion that even those lost souls of the anti-holys are welcome back into our fold after seeing the errors of their ways - just look at the tide, once a poor, confused follower of st00pid mbauer, and now instead a poor confused believer in our lord Lincoln AND trustee of the holy 70's porn chest. As brother sasquatch so rightly said, there is no place in our organisation for you. Instead, we invite you to create your own place. We invite you to go apeshit© whenever and on whomever you so desire, without fear of retribution.

The anti-holys talk of "great accomplishments". I ask simply : WHAT ACCOMPLISHMENTS? In the name of Quasar and all that's holy, I cannot think of a single one. Apart from holding the undisputed world record for losing the fastest Hex game ever played, that is.

mbauer · Post by **mbauer** » Mon Nov 06, 2006 3:19 pm

Preacherman wrote: The anti-holys talk of "great accomplishments". I ask simply : WHAT ACCOMPLISHMENTS?

Well well well, where should I begin? Besides being a founding member of both the mod Squad and the mapLAB to which the beloved Dustin spoketh

Beloved Dustin wrote:Thank goodness for the anti-holy's reformation of the Preacherman School of Cartography.

The anti-holies have also brought you a bounty of top notch maps courtesy of devoted anti-holy followers SunTzu and mark bauer http://sillysoft.net/plugins/

In addition the anti-holies have brought you a bounty of awards to pin upon your chest this joyous Luxtober season http://sillysoft.net/contests/2006awards.php

No, no I won't stop there! The anti-holies have also been spreading the word of lux to a wider audience so as to invite more noobs into our flock. The much acclaimed AHL was a joint Sillysoft and anti-holy collaboration. http://sillysoft.net/ahl/ As is the highly anticipated Devils' Brigade Lux http://www.devilsbrigade.tv/games/index ... ionID=risk

But wait, there's still more! Your favorite brother SnyperEye is constantly keeping you entertained here in the forums by heading up the magnificent Snype Entertainment Inc.

And who could forget the irresistible Scott who's magnificent hosting earned him awards at this years Luxtoberfest as well as induction into the Hall of Fame.

What has the Semi-Holy church of Lux done? Besides lie, cheat, and steal their way to the top.

SIC SEMPER TYRANIS!

MB

Preacherman · Post by **Preacherman** » Mon Nov 06, 2006 4:38 pm

st00pid mbauer wrote:Well well well, where should I begin? Besides being a founding member of both the mod Squad and the mapLAB to which the beloved Dustin spoketh
Beloved Dustin wrote:Thank goodness for the anti-holy's reformation of the Preacherman School of Cartography.
The anti-holies have also brought you a bounty of top notch maps courtesy of devoted anti-holy followers SunTzu and mark bauer http://sillysoft.net/plugins/

"Beloved Dustin" didn't write that, st00pid mbauer did. "Beloved Dustin" merely agreed. I would also like to point out that a whopping 75% of Mod Squad founding members were SHCL, you were the minority. If we look at todays Squad, AHCL make up a pathetic 0% of members.

st00pid mbauer wrote:In addition the anti-holies have brought you a bounty of awards to pin upon your chest this joyous Luxtober season http://sillysoft.net/contests/2006awards.php

As we can see in this example of atrocious Photoshopping, the reflection of the '555' is upside down. We don't want bounty, we want QUALITY!

st00pid mbauer wrote:No, no I won't stop there! The anti-holies have also been spreading the word of lux to a wider audience so as to invite more noobs into our flock. The much acclaimed AHL was a joint Sillysoft and anti-holy collaboration. http://sillysoft.net/ahl/ As is the highly anticipated Devils' Brigade Lux http://www.devilsbrigade.tv/games/index ... ionID=risk

n00bs that you think you can convert - this is mere brainwashing of the masses with a sub-standard product. Dare I say it - you are the Microsoft of the Lux Empire. Without the millions of users. More like a spotty adolescent Bill Gates in his garage with his binoculars spying on the semi-holy Steve Jobs.

st00pid mbauer wrote:But wait, there's still more! Your favorite brother SnyperEye is constantly keeping you entertained here in the forums by heading up the magnificent Snype Entertainment Inc.

Do try and keep up mbauer. Snype Entertainment Inc. is now a wholly-owned (or if you will, a 'holy-owned') subsiduary of the SHCL. In a little-publicised hostile takeover a few months ago, SnyperEye was offered an undisclosed quantity of fig juice for his company. Your use of the name in your last post will be $5 please.

st00pid mbauer wrote:And who could forget the irresistible Scott who's magnificent hosting earned him awards at this years Luxtoberfest as well as induction into the Hall of Fame.

Who the hell is Scott? Or are you referring to the irresistible Scot? Well yes, of course - there are no more SHCL members not in the Hall of Fame! Of course Quasar had to move on to lesser organisations to fill the awards page...

So I repeat : WHAT ACCOMPLISHMENTS?

Mach · Post by **Mach** » Mon Nov 06, 2006 5:37 pm

I thought the Anti-Holies were no more since 8/10/05...

Lux History Wiki wrote: Also, during this time, the 2 churches in Luxdom, the Semi-Holy Church of Lux and the Anti-Holy Church of Lux battled for dominion in a sudden death showdown in a game of "To the Power of Hex" on August 10, 2005. The Semi-Holy Church won with all 3 of their members standing, and the Anti-Holy Church of Lux was disbanded. Its leader, mbauer, went in to hiding (recently, it was found that he was coding Dustin's next Lux project, American History Lux). As a result of this game, team play was crafted. Once reviled in the days of tenderhobbit, Team Play now gained a separate status from regular Lux competition, demanding coordination of players. Team play grew during this time, and teams were being created rapidly.

Well, since you're still around, though, mb, perhaps you can decipher this? Something about "bread and butter pickles"? I think it scored a 6.0 on my What-the-feck-ometer...

http://www.homestarrunner.com/weeklies/marzy_dub.mp3

el toro · Post by **el toro** » Mon Nov 06, 2006 5:42 pm

Yes mach... it is true they were crushed, killed, shamed, and smited.

Drifter · Post by **Drifter** » Mon Nov 06, 2006 5:48 pm

Well thanks alot Mach, I followed that link you put up, and my What-the-feck-ometer pegged out, started smoking and caught fire. I guess it is my fault though, I've been using What-the-feck 3.5, so I guess I'll have to upgrade 6.0 now.

SnyperEye · Post by **SnyperEye** » Mon Nov 06, 2006 5:49 pm

Preacherman wrote:
st00pid mbauer wrote:But wait, there's still more! Your favorite brother SnyperEye is constantly keeping you entertained here in the forums by heading up the magnificent Snype Entertainment Inc.
Do try and keep up mbauer. Snype Entertainment Inc. is now a wholly-owned (or if you will, a 'holy-owned') subsiduary of the SHCL. In a little-publicised hostile takeover a few months ago, SnyperEye was offered an undisclosed quantity of fig juice for his company. Your use of the name in your last post will be $5 please.

What Who When? What rubbish are you spreading through the halls of your sinister Semi-Holy Church. Lincoln ought to smite you for your vermiculate lies if booth hadnt smited him first for spawning an evil cult such as the Semi-Holy Church. Snype Entertainment Inc. would never fall to a takeover by the Semi-Holy Church. The use of entertainment which it provides sole purpose is to erase the immoral deeds and anguish that the Semi-holy church has spread. The pure poison of fig juice will never run against these lips.

**Snyper pours the poisioned fig juice in a water gun and shoots Semi-holy invaders in the eyes**

sasquatch · Post by **sasquatch** » Mon Nov 06, 2006 7:08 pm

The path of the wayward....

I believe this latest protest by MB can be traced back to his time served in the Halls of the Damned. During his voluntary confinement, we lavished him with many luxuries. We honoured his requests for a plethora of boas, beaded curtains for the windows and doorways, hot pink velour sheets, a poster of Vanilla Ice, and four mannequin heads (which MB promptly dressed like Rosie O'Donnell - The Four Seasons of Rosie he called it). After all of this endless spectacle unfurled, we drew the line when he asked for a subscription to Pickle Action Magazine (which is outlawed in 47 states and Puerto Rico). It is now clear that he has never gotten over that action.

Stay vigilant, citizens!
Sasquatch

smedz · Post by **smedz** » Mon Nov 06, 2006 8:36 pm

LIAR!

There is no such publication as Pickle Action Magazine. If you are referring to the much loved "Extreme Pickle Hardcore" and it's brilliant sister publication "Reader's Pickles". Then I can assure you that the marvellous mr mb would never have need of such a paper, as we had the full years subscription downloaded and implanted in his brain prior to his being incarcerated in the halls of the damned. Did you not hear his joyful giggling each night?

*Manimal · Post by *Manimal » Mon Nov 06, 2006 9:33 pm

Preacherman wrote:
st00pid mbauer wrote:In addition the anti-holies have brought you a bounty of awards to pin upon your chest this joyous Luxtober season http://sillysoft.net/contests/2006awards.php

As we can see in this example of atrocious Photoshopping, the reflection of the '555' is upside down. We don't want bounty, we want QUALITY!

Hey Hey Hey I won that 555 Award and it REPRESENTS quality thank you very much

*Manimal goes back and lies on the couch, glaring at preacherman

SunTzu · Post by **SunTzu** » Tue Nov 07, 2006 12:16 am

This is your brain...

This is your brain corrupted by the Semi-Holy Cult of Lux...

[

This is your brain enlightened by the Anti-Holy Church of Lux...

Any questions?

SIC SEMPER TYRANIS!

ST

el toro · Post by **el toro** » Tue Nov 07, 2006 12:42 am

look here sunny.

it is the semi-holy church of Lux
and the anti-holy cult of Lux

if you are going to jump into the fray,
you better be ready to be damned to the hall of the damned.
you must remember sunny,
mbauer was trained by the semi-holy church of Lux.
and at one time,
before he went insane from being over dilled,
was the church's best duck fluffer.
we loved st00pid mbauer,
and we pray with cheesebeer™ in hand for his soul everyday.
If you really want to be a mapmaker worthy of Quasar,
seek brother barstar,
the master o' maps that makes mbauer quiver with fear.

you have much to learn sunny.... repent while you can.

let not the lies and foul dill smell invade your mind.
purge yourself of the anti stench, and join the glory.
the blessing of Lincoln can be yours if you repent.
follow not the anti's into darkness.

you have much to learn, we have much to give.....

Post by **dustin** » Tue Nov 07, 2006 12:43 am

ooooooooooooh... smack!

the map makers are banding together it seems.

Preacherman · Post by **Preacherman** » Tue Nov 07, 2006 6:27 am

st00pid SnyperEye wrote:What Who When? What rubbish are you spreading through the halls of your sinister Semi-Holy Church. Lincoln ought to smite you for your vermiculate lies if booth hadnt smited him first for spawning an evil cult such as the Semi-Holy Church. Snype Entertainment Inc. would never fall to a takeover by the Semi-Holy Church. The use of entertainment which it provides sole purpose is to erase the immoral deeds and anguish that the Semi-holy church has spread. The pure poison of fig juice will never run against these lips.

Foul corruptible Snyper, it pains me to see that you have learnt nothing since your most defeat on the fields of Hex - a defeat made all the more humiliating by the fact that you were killed by your own anti-holy teammates. And yet you still stand by these suicidal nitwits and spread the word of the evil mbauer - what spell has he cast on you, poor susceptible child? As far as the hostile takeover of Snype Entertainment, Inc. - brother toro has in his keeping an invoice signed by you, signing over the rights of said organisation to the SHCL. Please - don't embarrass yourself further by forcing him to make it public to all Luxtopia, thus revealing the pitiful amount of fig juice for which you abandoned your so-called brothers.

*Manimal wrote:Hey Hey Hey I won that 555 Award and it REPRESENTS quality thank you very much

Brother *Manimal, we at the SHCL in no way doubt the skill it required for you to win said award. We do however believe that such skill should be represented by an award crafted with equal skill and love, not by some late-night slip-shod rush job attempt at a graphic that just says "I, the creator of this graphic, don't give two figs about the recipient of this award or the so-called skill required to win it, and as such don't care enough to make it properly". For these very words were those heard uttered from st00pid mbauer's pickle-soaked lips as he created it.

st00pid SunTzu wrote:Any questions?

Ahh, young SunTzu - how sad that your gifted cartographers hand was first held by the pickle stinking hand of the anti-holy cult, and led down the winding path of deception and corruption. So many of the ideas that evil mbauer passes off as his own, have in fact come from those early SHCL cartographers that paved the way for map making - before we had such tools as a "Map Maker", fancy "Overground" and "Foreground" capabilities, yay verily, before Photoshop 7 was even released, we were making the maps upon which your creations are now based. Repent, SunTzu - see the light, and get a free duck.

mbauer · Post by **mbauer** » Tue Nov 07, 2006 10:05 am

Wow, we must have struck a nerve, the semi-holy flock is grasping a straws now

Your queries are valid Mach. The reason why the Anti-Holy church as seen a revival is because it has come to my attention that the famed hex battle was in fact fixed. The Semi-Holies had to cheat their way to a victory and they distracted the young Kef with a shiny object. Mistakenly, after losing the Hex battle I gave the Semi-Holies the benefit of the doubt, believing that they had fought the battle in a honourable way. I voluntarily served my time in the hall of the damned where I wrote the manifesto to which all anti-holies live by to this day. The Semi-Holy church is run by a crop of corrupt, cheating liars.

Iqorsquatch:
I don't question your subscription to "Nude Yeti Bowling Illustrated" so, please don't question my reading of the fine publications of "Extreme Pickle Hardcore" and "Reader's Pickles."

Harem Girl:
I was trained at the Preacherman School of Cartography because it's easier to fight the system from within. Barstar is indeed a fine map maker and worthy of praise to the highest degree, but to say I quiver from fear is a bit of a reach. Your foolish lies impress no one. And if Barstar were smart he'd join the mapmaker's alliance in the fight against you and semi-holy oppression.

Preacherman:
Get a haircut you liar! Your untruths, which you spread against SnyperEye, will not stand. The good citizens of Luxtopia will not allow you to defame the great and honourable Snype Entertainment Inc. You’re just jealous because Snype was able to succeed where you failed so miserably with your pathetic "luxhillarium."

Furthermore, you have no leverage with which to lecture the accomplished SunTzu. His masterly approach to map making has advance the art to realms that you couldn't even fathom. Lower your head in shame!

And Lastly, you ARE calling into question the talent, integrity, and skill of our beloved heroes in the field who are fighting the good cause for a better tomorrow. The vile tongue of the Semi-Holy cult must not ridicule the accolades showered upon the noble winners at this year’s Luxtoberfest. You apologize sir, for you are out of line! Next you'll be claiming that it was some kind of botched-joke.

SIC SEMPER TYRANIS
MB

Muskie · Post by **Muskie** » Tue Nov 07, 2006 5:25 pm

Hey mb,, need some hot sauce?

el toro · Post by **el toro** » Tue Nov 07, 2006 6:29 pm

st00pid mb wrote:Your untruths, which you spread against SnyperEye, will not stand.

well i hate to have to whip this out.
but it would seem we have no choice.

the semi-holy church is not in the business of spreading lies.
it is true, we did take over Snyper Entertainment Inc.
SyperEye has been working for the church for a long time now for a duck a month.

SunTzu · Post by **SunTzu** » Tue Nov 07, 2006 9:55 pm

st00pid Liar el toro wrote:the semi-holy church is not in the business of spreading lies.

Really? Let's look at the fineprint...

SIC SEMPER TYRANIS!

ST

el toro · Post by **el toro** » Wed Nov 08, 2006 8:51 am

oh sunny....

that is clearly one of the worst abuse of adobe i have ever seen.
the fine print on the receipt is next to the 4th blood splatter down,
not the first blood splatter as your sad little forgery shows.
what is are the evil anti's teaching you?
stop listening to mbauer,
step away from the dark side,
before you are marked..... forever.

Well, which side should I join?

Well, which side should I join?

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