"That's So Gay" - Discussion Thread

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Lantern
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"That's So Gay" - Discussion Thread

Post by Lantern » Thu Oct 15, 2009 2:23 am

(Click the links... That's the point of this thread. If you haven't watches the videos you didn't get the point of what I was saying)

Think before you speak.

This was a terrific program to address homophobia and raise awareness regarding people saying "That's So Gay".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sWS0GVOQPs0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_MIb3mY ... re=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uEpBYKOs3ys

It is said when people are referring to something bad, ugly, or stupid. Basically when you are referring to something negative. By using the word gay in that context you are in essence contributing to homophobia.

The reason why I am posting this in the forums is because I am growing tired of hearing Lux players referring to maps as gay or people commenting on a bad play by another person as gay.

This is homophobic and is something that we should not accept as a community. I urge you all to link players to this thread if you see them saying this. A little awareness goes a long way.

We as moderators are here for the enjoyment of all the players online. Just as we frown on excessive foul language, griefing, teaming, etc in online play we also take homophobic comments seriously as well as any behavior that is not conducive to an inclusive environment for all of our players.

I was in a game this evening where a player called a map "gay" because he didn't like it and didn't understand how to play it. When I and the host asked him to not speak like that he promptly muted me as well as tell the host to act her age. He said he was 17 and acting his age. It's sad to see that people feel justified in calling something gay by saying they are young and can say that.

Think before you speak.
Last edited by Lantern on Mon Nov 02, 2009 12:37 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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el toro
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Post by el toro » Thu Oct 15, 2009 5:09 pm

that's so orlando

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Post by Mike » Thu Oct 15, 2009 5:45 pm

In the spirit of sensitivity - I suggest we boycott 'The Flintstones' - for their use of the word 'Gay' -
Flintstones... Meet the Flintstones,
They're a modern stoneage family.
From the town of Bedrock,
They're a page right out of history.

Let's ride with the family down the street.
Thru the courtesy of Fred's two feet.

When you're with the Flintstones,
have a yabba dabba doo time,
a dabba doo time,
we'll have a gay old time.

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Post by blackj3sus » Thu Oct 15, 2009 10:05 pm

i feel like the word 'gay' is transforming into something else than what it used to be...
it used to be gay meant happy...
then recently it has meant homosexual in a negative context...
now i think it just means lame... (with no sexual overtones)

another word that has transformed and doesn't seem to go away is 'nigger', though the spelling has changed to 'nigga'. (which is an ebonic form of 'nigger')

i watch the gay and lesbian channel sometimes and i have seen gay people using the term 'gay' to express dislike for something.
i have heard people use the term 'nigga' to express affection for one another... i.e. "my 'nigga'."

its just a word.
some words fall by the wayside like 'boulderdash' or 'gee wiz'(which i lovingly convert to 'wee jizz')

black people using the word 'nigga' is a way of taking the negative connotation away from the negative user.
just as gay people using the word 'gay' to take away the negative connotation away from negative users.

i occasionally use both words, not because i'm black or gay but that's just how the words are being used in a broader sense.

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Post by paranoiarodeo » Thu Oct 15, 2009 10:08 pm

blackj3sus wrote:i occasionally use both words, not because i'm black or gay but that's just how the words are being used in a broader sense.
Don Imus tried that once ...

∞ paranoiarodeo ducks ∞

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Post by Moiz » Thu Oct 15, 2009 10:31 pm

I don't see anything wrong with saying "Thats So Gay" or anyone else saying it. I know they're not talking to whatever it is in a homosexual/happy context and overall they're just using the word because they're accustomed to it and its meaning for them that I'm sure everyone else can agree with. Lots of people I know say things are really gay -- they don't mean that they're insulting a gay person near them -- They're just saying that it sucks.

I've never used the N word since it just doesn't fit my vocab, but if I'm called a Nigga' I don't mind, nor do I care -- I know for one that I'm black and that its not a racist or derogatory comment -- neither it is when some of my friends who are black call each other the dreaded "N" word.

I'm not too sure that words themselves can be so harmful -- If you see something negative and say "thats something a gay guy would do" I guess it'd make sense to be mad, but just using the word gay in a context that has nothing to do with a gay person them self isn't anything insulting in my view and obviously not in the views of lots of other people I've met.

I guess, though, it'd be nice if it left the American Vocab...

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Post by Llama LluxaLlot » Thu Oct 15, 2009 11:43 pm

I think a person's age determines how offensive certain words or. "That's gay" bothers me but ever so slightly like a gnat. i HATE when Black/ African Americans call each other nigger. i HATE when Gay people call each other (or me) fag or dyke. I will never get used to it. To me it is the internalization of slave mentality and self hate. To 15 year olds some of these words especially said "in community" do not mean the same thing thing.

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Post by n00less cluebie » Fri Oct 16, 2009 12:03 am

Just as long as you don't drop the "Your a fag" bomb....

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Post by Shockandawe » Fri Oct 16, 2009 2:49 am

I am not old enough to have ever know gay to mean happy in any context of my everyday life. Though i find that when someone uses Jew I am more offended.

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Post by blackj3sus » Fri Oct 16, 2009 11:45 am

since when is 'jew' an offensive word?

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Post by Llama LluxaLlot » Fri Oct 16, 2009 12:04 pm

funny you should ask. When I was growing up I had these experiences. I was called "Hymie" "Kike", had neighborhood kids throw pennies at me and my sister telling us to pick them up, had a rock thrown through our window at Hanukah...

But in the last 3 years or so I had 2 instances of people getting mad and yelling "you JEW" ....like just the word Jew was insult enough. I Do not feel have enough information to say that is what people do now.

I grew up in NE Philadelphia. Anti-semitism was more overt than in portland oregon. When I was a kid everybody knew who was the jew on the block, who was polish, who was italian.... It is not like that here. Some people don't even realize the names "Levin" or "Cohen" are Jewish.


Anyone else have someone call them "JEW" as an insult? I am curious.

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Post by soundboy » Fri Oct 16, 2009 12:52 pm

blackj3sus wrote:since when is 'jew' an offensive word?
Can't really give you a date, but I can give you usage...

1. Applebees totally Jewed me on the french fries
Interpretation - Applebees gave me very few fries.

Not sure how offensive the usage is to some people, but it's been a pretty common term that I've seen through most of my college years and beyond. Being under the guise of "half jewish", I had a lot of Jewish Jokes and slams sent my way.

Hope this helps your investigation.

:smt020

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Post by nimrod7 » Fri Oct 16, 2009 1:18 pm

:roll:

Deck the halls with boughs of holly,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Tis the season to be jolly,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Don we now our gay apparel,
Fa la la, la la la, la la la.
Troll the ancient Yule tide carol,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

No wonder people hate Christmas!

1. Our PC culture is so frickin' annoying.
2. I hate it when people use the word rape. What do I do? I ask them to please not say it. They continue? I (dramatic pause) mute them.

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Post by Mike » Fri Oct 16, 2009 2:43 pm

I saw a guy with a T-shirt that read 'Gay Deadheads for Jesus' -

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Post by n00less cluebie » Fri Oct 16, 2009 4:21 pm

indeed, jew used as a verb can be very offensive, usually meaning either "being cheap", "cheating", "haggling", etc. For the concept of the Jew being the hated moneylender, look no further than Shakespeare's "Merchant of Venice" which can be viewed as either antisemitic, or being as sympathetic towards the Jews as was possible in that era. That's also where the derogatory term "Shylock" comes from as well...

Shabbat Shalom!

-NC

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Post by Moiz » Fri Oct 16, 2009 5:52 pm

Jew's always an offensive word -- or something to be made fun of. Its happened quite a lot in school, though I've never seen it in context of something being low in value. Even though occasionally when people ask you for a quarter I've heard some go "quit being so Jewish". Idk, Jew is an ethnicity and we all know that its banging on the people and not some random word that has any number of meanings -- its just unacceptable.

Nim, I'm guessing by the word "rape" you mean people that use it like "Don't rape my name, Please. Its pronounced ******" or "I totally Raped you in Basketball!"

Idk, My feelings towards words aren't that big a deal. If its an ethnicity or something that actually means something offensive when you say it makes sense -- Though I wouldn't care if someone used any other word to express an idea (As long as they do it normally)

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Post by Lantern » Fri Oct 16, 2009 6:04 pm

n00less cluebie wrote:indeed, jew used as a verb can be very offensive, usually meaning either "being cheap", "cheating", "haggling", etc. For the concept of the Jew being the hated moneylender, look no further than Shakespeare's "Merchant of Venice" which can be viewed as either antisemitic, or being as sympathetic towards the Jews as was possible in that era. That's also where the derogatory term "Shylock" comes from as well...

Shabbat Shalom!

-NC
the same point I was making

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Post by PitytheFool » Sat Oct 17, 2009 11:07 pm

el toro wrote:that's so orlando
Whatever happened to Orlando? I remember him from waaaaaaay back.

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Post by beetroot » Sun Oct 18, 2009 12:13 am

he was crushed by a rainbow. tragic

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Post by Llama LluxaLlot » Sun Oct 18, 2009 6:36 am

The One. The ONLY. BETROOT!

YAY

:smt044

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Post by fluffernuffer » Sun Oct 18, 2009 8:08 pm


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Post by fluffernuffer » Sun Oct 18, 2009 8:09 pm


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Re: "That's So Gay" - Think before you speak

Post by nietzsche » Mon Oct 19, 2009 9:17 am

Lantern wrote:
Think before you speak.
I have thought long and hard about this for many years and since coming to Japan I finally began to realise where I stood and 'square the circle' so to speak.

It is a cliché, I know, but many of my friends are gay, but I just cannot accept why they insist on making a hoohah about their sexual orientation. It is of no concern to me how they like to do sex and I would rather not have to tghink about that, thank you very much.

Yes, let's treat everyone equally, but also let's not make a song and dance about how we like to conduct our private lives.

Gay Pride, Gay Festivals... probably do more to promote homophobia than the gay cause.

And as for the topic, I think you will find that the word 'gay' also has a positive connotation, as in its original 'happy' or 'bright' meaning. It is still common to talk about 'gay colours', meaning vivid.

I think that some of the current negativity you mention - "that is so gay" - owe more to this than anti-homophobic sentiment. The gay community would do better to promote an alternative word than to insist we change how we use the word 'gay'.

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Post by hoodie » Mon Oct 19, 2009 2:20 pm

Umm, gotta disagree with you there. Big time. Gay festivals and parades tend to be very open, welcoming, and are a reaction to the massive shame that many gay people have had heaped upon them by society over their entire lifetime. These events are catharsis, fun, and completely harmless. I hope there comes a time when they are irrelevant, but that time most certainly has not come yet.

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Post by nietzsche » Mon Oct 19, 2009 4:43 pm

hoodie wrote:Umm, gotta disagree with you there. Big time. Gay festivals and parades tend to be very open, welcoming, and are a reaction to the massive shame that many gay people have had heaped upon them by society over their entire lifetime. These events are catharsis, fun, and completely harmless. I hope there comes a time when they are irrelevant, but that time most certainly has not come yet.
no, no, Hoodie, I agree with you, completely! They are great and I love the atmosphere.

However, do they actually have anything to do with being gay? I know that it is a gathering of gay people to proudly show off their gayness, but what is the point of doing that?

I had more time to reflect on the 'that is so gay' and I will try to explain my reasoning a little clearer.

The word 'gay', as Nimmy showed, did not originally refer to homosexuality. It referred to a state of mind, something close to happiness or cheerfulness.

Many expressions remain from this unconnected original meaning, and I think 'that is so gay' probably is one of them.

I mean, think about it, how can a map be homosexual!!?? It is (yes, mostly negative) a reference to its unusual nature and how it stands out from the norm.

I really don't see why people should refrain from using an expression like this simply because 'gay' people might take offense.

Would you like us to stop using the word 'conservative' (the main political party in the UK) in all its negative meanings, or even the word 'black'?

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Post by Lantern » Mon Oct 19, 2009 5:29 pm

nietz if I may the point I am making in the top of this thread is that the comment "That is so gay" is used to describe something negative. As in:

That shirt "Is so Gay"

That song "Is so Gay"

That movie "Is so Gay"

This thread has absolutely zero to do with people's sexual preference but more to do with the term "That is so Gay" used to describe something in a negative tone.

Take your example of Gay being used as describing something happy. As in That Christmas song is so gay. Originally it is meant to denote something cheerful and happy, the problem is that because this term is now being used for the complete opposite it can and does offend people and in essence it contributes to the notion that Gay = Bad

If you have clicked on the links and watched the video examples of what I was trying to say you will see my point.

I personally feel as a mod and someone who is charged to be a positive influence in this community that I need to point this out. If I see a player in a game saying that a "Bad Move" "Is so Gay" then I feel compelled to ask them to not use that term. If people continue to do so and ignore my requests then I would take what action I feel appropriate as I would with any other derogatory comments.

I have never seen you say "Thats so Gay" while playing lux probably because you feel it would be inappropriate. Am I correct?

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Post by djdee » Mon Oct 19, 2009 5:57 pm

hmmm sorry nietzsche, I really respect your wisdom in this community but I gotta disagree with you here.

We someone says "that's so gay" or use the word Jew etc. They are trying to associate bad feeling about that word with their statement.

The use of a word is not the fault of the community it is aimed at, but the fault of the ignorance of those using these words.

It is not acceptable to use any words that are used to oppress another community, context is everything though. Most words have positive meanings as well but it is when it is used, however slightly, against another person or community it is wrong.

p.s. I love the fact that you say conservative has negative meanings, as if it has positive ones :)

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Post by n00less cluebie » Mon Oct 19, 2009 6:27 pm

Llux Llama is SO Gay....no matter what PreacherMa'am may be implying

....and we love her for it...Well...Love, Not LOVE...because....she's gay....and.... oh forget it.

But it is going to be a VERY difficult task to get people to stop using that word as a negative comment. It's ingrown from the playground, and will take a much stronger effort to get people to stop using it. Heck, I have gay friends who use the term for something that is ridiculously over-the-top homosexual.

We still haven't gotten people to COMPLETELY give up "welching on a bet", or "getting Gyped" , or frankly telling Polish jokes.

The best recommendation? Make fun of the Swedes! They are CLEARLY the lowest social group around. :lol:

BORK! BORK! BORK!

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Post by C-Rex » Mon Oct 19, 2009 7:29 pm

n00less cluebie wrote:The best recommendation? Make fun of the Swedes! They are CLEARLY the lowest social group around. :lol:
The lowest huh? Really? Even lower than the jewish married American gay-wannabe trolls that play online games and wear noses of wrong color? :lol:

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Post by paranoiarodeo » Mon Oct 19, 2009 7:32 pm

C-Rex wrote:... wear noses of wrong color?
You dare mock cl00bie's show of solidarity ... !?

∞ paranoiarodeo sharpens his icepick ∞

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